HP psc 2410 photosmart all-in-one installation problems

Aaaaarrrrrrgghhhhhhhh.

I have been using my HP psc 2410 photosmart all-in-one for over 2 years without any problem (well, hardly any) on my old PC.
I now have a brand new PC - just out of the box.
I am having trouble installing my HP psc 2410 photosmart all-in-one to this new pc - and I am EXHAUSTED.

Using plug and play - fails
I tried using the original software it came with - fails
I've tried using the auto-install software from the HP website - fails
Tried downloading to disk the 'up-to-date' software from HP - fails
I have tried this software over and over (and over again).
I have uninstalled and re-installed over and over (and over) again.

Here's a run-through:

I run the software (gc_w01_ENU.exe) which I have downloaded from HP:

The first message I get (after I accept the agreement etc) is: connect your device now (which I do).
The device gets detected (as I expect) so I wait for the device setup to finish.
The next message I get is: Device setup has failed to complete.
I press 'retry', I make sure the device is powered on and the usb cable is connected properly. They are.
Ok I think, as suggested by the software, I'll unplug the usb cable and install the software, ticking the box that states 'I am unable to connect the device now etc etc'
The software 'installs' after about 10 minutes (notice the quotation marks!) so I click finish.

Next (without anything new being plugged in, the 'Found new hardware' box appears. I run it to get the message 'Cannot install this hardware'.
Not unexpected I think as I haven't added any new hardware (yet). I finish that 'Found new hardware' pop-up. This happens 5 more times (one after the other), which I finish as before.

Then I plug my psc 2410 into the usb slot. Nothing happens.

The printer is not in my 'Printers & Faxes' folder so I next run the 'Add a printer' wizard. Even though I shouldn't have to with plug and play, I do, as plugging and playing does nothing. I tick the radio boxes: Local Printer attached to this computer & automatically detct and install my plug & play printer.
The message: the wizard was unable to detect any plug & play printers message appears.
i try to install the printer manually by pressing next. This doesn't work

I don't know what else to do.

Any offers?

I am offering 500 points as this is extremely urgent. I need this scanner EVERY day.