I'm a jack-of-all-trades programmer, but I especially enjoy ASP, MySQL, SQL Server, JavaScript, VB and .NET. I am certified in SQL Server 2000 and ASP.NET. Experts Exchange is a lifesaver, and I'm glad I can be a part of it. It's the best tech support for programmers on earth, and it's FREE.

If you want to contact me: ee [AT] builderdash [dotcom]

And here are some semi-original poems and songs I wrote:

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Midnight Coder (an ode to Experts Exchange)

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I coded, weak and weary,
And debugged a tricky, spurious segment of spaghetti code--
While I debugged, nearly snapping, and my errors never trapping,
Came the beckon of an email, pinging at my network node.
"'Tis some spammer," now I muttered, "pinging at my network node--
                     What is wrong with this, my code?"

Ah, my pointers were not pointing and my I/O was disjointing,
And my buggy class constructors throwing errors dastardly.
How I needed resolution, in my buggy raw confusion,
When at once I heard the bells of EE ringing out for me--
Experts here and experts there, from their minds the knowledge flowed,
                     Glory be! They fixed my code!

And the knowledge now was pouring from the experts' brains, a roaring
Thrilled me--filled me with fantastic answers never seen before;
So that now my code is cleaner and my functions leaner, meaner
And I'm now a brainy expert running down that geeky road--
With this website in my pocket, out from whence all knowledge flowed;
                     E-Exchange, you saved my code!

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I Write The Code ("I Write The Songs" -- Barry Manilow)

I've been alive forever, and I wrote the first line of code
I put the structs and the classes together
I am SweatCoder and I write the code.

I write the code that makes the whole world sing
I write the code that outputs numbers and strings
I write the code that makes the users cry
I write the code, I write the code.

My code lies deep within you
And I've got the bytes in your soul
Now, when I look into my flat screen
I'm young again, even though I'm very old.

Oh my software makes you dance
And gets your keyboard to take a chance
And I wrote some event handlers so you can move
Blue Screen fills your heart
Well, that's a real bad place to start
It's from me it's for you
It's from you, it's for me
It's a software symphony.