How to prevent entering duplicate record in DataGridView?

Hello all,
I am using a DataGridView in unbound mode.  I have some code in the RowValidating event that works well to ensure that required values are present and not too long, etc.  This prevents the user from leaving the row until the data entered is valid or the Esc key is pressed.  Next, I have code in the RowValidated event to call the Update procedure for existing rows and the Insert procedure when a user enters a new row.

What I need to do is prevent the user from entering a record that already exists.  I tried having my insert procedure do the check and then pass back a message indicating that the record already exists.  This is working.  However, the problem is that duplicate record that the user just entered remains in the grid.  I tried putting the following in right after doing the insert:

grd.Rows.RemoveAt(e.RowIndex)

However, I get an error saying that this operation is not allowed in the RowValidated event.  I don't really want to put code in the RowValidating event to check for duplicates because that event fires on every keypress and I don't want that many calls to the database.

As I said, my Insert procedure already handles checking for an existing record and will not insert a duplicate.  All I need is to be able to remove the row that the user entered into the grid if it happens to be a duplicate and was not inserted.  Basically, I want the user to see the row disappear after the message is displayed indicating that the record was a duplicate, so that it is obvious and also because if it is not removed then the grid will contain two identical rows.

I've also tried the RowsAdded and the UserAddedRow events.  But these fire on the first keypress in the 'New Row' row.  I need to do the check after all of the data has been entered on the row.

So what event can I use to do this?  Sorry for the long post.

Thanks in advance.

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