Option value and submit question

Hi everyone.
Guys i have a php form where I need a little help.
I have a select box that gets its data from a mysql table.
When I select one of the options in the select box, then click on a submit button, I can retrieve that selected item, which I then remove that "record" from a mysql database.

The problem I have is this....

I want to add a "selected" option value to the select box, which is NOT pulled from a database, like the rest of the option values are.
I want this just to be seen on page load of the form, and just a simple message status saying the following:

<option value="default" selected="selected">--- Please Choose a Project ---</option>

I want this to be in this select box permanently, and for the form not to be allowed to be submitted if this has not been changed to a valid option value item from the select box (maybe a message saying..you need to select a valid option)

The problem is, is that when I click on submit, and if I have not chosen anything other than the top line, that is, if I chose:

<option value="default" selected="selected">--- Please Choose a Project ---</option>

then the select name is "SET", and upon post of this form, it goes to another page, which grabs this select name by the following..

if(!empty($_POST['projectidnumber'])) {
$project_to_delete=$_POST['projectidnumber'];

where 'projectidnumber' is the name of the select box.

So, what im asking is the following...

Is there any way to add a "message-type" status option value to a select box, which does NOT set the value of a select box element upon form submission, or another way around this?

Here is the complete select php code I have.

Any help greatly appreciated.

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=========================================== delete_project.php
 
<div id="form_wrapper">
	<form name="form1" method="post" action="delete_project_ac.php">
		<table id="form1table">		
			<tr>
				<td class="nondescriptioncol1">Select a Project:</td>
				<td class="nondescriptioncol2">
					<select name="projectidnumber" id="projectidnumber">
						<option value="default" selected="selected">--- Please Choose a Project ---</option>
						<?php 
							while($row=mysql_fetch_array($result)) {
								echo "<option value=\"".$row['id_pro']."\">".$row['name_pro']."\n";	
							}
						?>
					</select>		
				</td>	
			</tr>
		</table>
		<center><input type="submit" name="Submit" value="Delete Project"></center>
	</form>
</div>	
 
================================================== delete_project_ac.php
if(!empty($_POST['projectidnumber'])) { 
		$project_to_delete=$_POST['projectidnumber'];
}
else {
 
blah blah