asked on
Zvonko - The Jackpot Winner !!!
You deserve it buddy !
:-)
Arun.
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:-(
Why not give me the points then ??
>:-D
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:-(
I will be very grateful for any donation ;)
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as you surely noticed I am under water at moment, so I have not noticed your trouble here, sorry.
Generaly is desktop5.dsk a nsf file.
That mean oppening a DOS box and going to c:\LotusR5\Notes
and starting this commands should work:
C:\LotusR5\Notes>dir \LotusR5\domino\*fix*
Verzeichnis von C:\LotusR5\domino
15.06.2001 03:05 49.152 nfixup.exe
C:\LotusR5\Notes>copy c:\LotusR5\domino\nfixup.e
C:\LotusR5\Notes>cd data
C:\LotusR5\Notes\Data>dir desk*
Verzeichnis von C:\LotusR5\Notes\Data
07.05.2002 20:01 9.175.040 desktop5.DSK
C:\LotusR5\Notes\Data>copy
1 Datei(en) kopiert.
C:\LotusR5\Notes\Data>cd ..
C:\LotusR5\Notes>nfixup desktop5.dsk
The ID file being used is: C:\LotusR5\Notes\Data\paun
Enter password (press the Esc key to abort):
07.05.2002 21:08:29 Database fixup process started
07.05.2002 21:08:29 Performing consistency check on desktop5.dsk...
07.05.2002 21:08:29 Completed consistency check on desktop5.dsk
07.05.2002 21:08:29 Database fixup process shutdown
C:\LotusR5\Notes>
Or in English words: copy nfixup.exe from your Domino server program directory to Notes program directory. Make a backup of your desktop5.dsk file and run a local fixup against the original dsk file.
Good luck,
zvonko
How many megabytes is your dsk file?
ASKER
:-(
Arun
PS: I tried nupdate and updall too...
That used to work in R4 when there were problems. Not sure, just a guess.
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I am all set and this question will be rewarded to Zvonko for helping me out with @Replace/@ReplaceSubstring
hee hee hee !! We are back on track Bro !
Jerrith thanks for the effort...hope you dont mind this question taking a twist right ?
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Where are you ? I know Zvo is on vacation!
;-)
Well, I suppose it's okay for this one time :(
:-)
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It was fun Formatting the drive !
How was your weekend ?
HP Sucks!
Anyway, I'm running Windows XP Professional at home and it runs like a charm. No hickups with hardware, extremely fast (my PC now boots up in a matter of seconds!).
ASKER
I searched and searched on the net. Thanks to Google for its powerful search. Whereever i visit i get the information that HP sucks!
Interestingly i got a chinese site, i did not understand a thing from that. But they had driver files and i was able to download a file and make my modem work !!!
Aah ! I am one satisfied customer for HP !
;-)
Arun.
PS: My machine is not a good configuration 500 MHz, PIII 256 RAM thats it... It is fast but not upto my expectations. Anyways i got it over two years back !!!
(Might have something to do with that Nvidia GForce 2, graphics card where 3D games are concerned).
My current 'drule' machine has a GForce-4 (or is the 5 released ? I can't keep up)
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My friend has a new DELL its 1.2 GHz and if i am not wrong it has about 1024 MB RAM and XP ... MAN it flies like anything... Seconds it boots up !
;-)
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This is the value for DispDocReaders a list ofcourse:
"Chris R Jones/ITM/DCC/DCX"
"Michael S Kachorek/ITM/DCC/DCX"
"Christoph Hartung/096/DCAG/DCX"
"ITB All Senior Management"
This is the value for DispDocEditors another list:
"ITB/F Senior Management"
"Chris R Jones/ITM/DCC/DCX"
"Michael S Kachorek/ITM/DCC/DCX"
"Richard T Faba/ITM/DCC/DCX"
"Christoph Hartung/096/DCAG/DCX"
Now,
I used your @Replace formula as follows in the first categorized column,
List := @Unique(@Name([Canonicaliz
Key := "CN=";
@Trim(@Unique(@Explode(@Tr
My expected Result is three categories:
> <--Others-->
> ITB All Senior Management
> ITB/F Senior Management
But... It has screwedup my whole expectations...Can you please help me out again...
All the categories gets mixed up together to form new categories for example...
> <--Others--> ITB All Senior Management
etc... This is for one value i am giving an example. There are 100's of documents in the view and i dont know how to give a better example.
PLEASE !
Thanks a lot in advance Buddy!
Thanks Bro!
Arun.
PS: As you see I have increased the points just for you :-)
Have a look at what's the reason for your formula not giving the result you want.
If you display the result for list you get the following list:
CN=Chris R Jones/OU=ITM/OU=DCC/O=DCX
CN=Michael S Kachorek/OU=ITM/OU=DCC/O=D
CN=Christoph Hartung/OU=096/OU=DCAG/O=D
ITB All Senior Management
CN=ITB/O=F Senior Management
CN=Richard T Fabal/OU=ITM/OU=DCC/O=DCX
CN=Christoph Hartung/OU=096/OU=DCA/O=DC
As you see "ITB/F Senior Management" gets interpreted as 'ITB' being the common name and 'F Senior Management' the organization.
This is obviously not what you are looking for.
Let me play around a little, maybe I can find a solution.
List := @Unique(@Name([Canonicaliz
Key := "/O=DCX";
Result1:=@ReplaceSubstring
Result2:=@Trim(@Unique(@Re
Result:=@Name([Abbreviate]
Result;
will produce the following result:
--Others--
ITB All Senior Management
ITB/F Senior Management
The source of your problem is the forward slash ("/") in the name of one of your groups. (I suppose these are groups you are referring to). If you replace the / with some other character in all names, your formula will work fine too.
I had to remove the less than and greater than symbols in "<--Others-->" for the @Name function to work properly to return the list as you want it. (The < and > will cause problems in @Name, since these are illegal characters in names I suppose).
So do I get the points now ????
ASKER
This is for my Bro Zvo okay ?
;-)
Arun
I was to slow Arun, but compare this one too:
List := @Unique(@Name([Canonicaliz
Key := @Trim(@Left(List;"/OU=")+"
" <--Others-->":@Unique(@Nam
<|:-)
ASKER
You are cool....i am at home now and the first thing i will be trying at office is the codes that you sent me.
Personally i would prefer JM's code since he uses the /o=dcx key.
But i definitely will try both the codes and let you guys know.
:-)
Arun.
Of course Arun, you should take that one that does the job.
Only for clarification the description to my approach.
The problem in your KEY value was that all names containing a slash start with a "CN=" in Canonicalized form.
That mean also this one: CN=ITB/O=F Senior Management
So my question was how to exclude the one with person names?
JM's approach was to hardcode the persons Organization.
My approach is to say: when more than one slash then it is a person.
When two or more slashes contained in the name, then is after the first slash this string: "/OU="
And finding this string was my key to exclude the person names.
But as I know you Arun, the best way is not the one that make the company independent from your adapt in next reorganization ;-)
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Now what ?
If you have the @Trim in my formula, then this absolutely can not be!
" <--Others-->":@Unique(@Nam
You see?
ASKER
:-(
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Now what ?
Here the corrected code:
List := @Unique(@Name([Canonicaliz
Key := @Trim(@Left(List;"/OU=")+"
Result:=@Unique(@Name([Abb
@If(Result="";" <--Others-->";" <--Others-->":Result)
The problem was that when in some documents no matches where found, then did the @Trim yeald an empty result list. That was one exception I did not catch.
Sorry that I did not beleaved at once to you. Now you have one free, ok :-)
Here my last try:
List := @Unique(@Name([Canonicaliz
Key := @Trim(@Left(List;"/OU=")+"
@Unique(@Name([Abbreviate]
<|:-)
ASKER
:-P
Arun.
it's almost lunch time over here :-)
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;-)
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;-)
PS: I have changed my timing from 3:45 to 4:45 last week.
I am more of a night person myself, can't get into bed in the evening and always have trouble getting up in the morning - except on holidays, when morning is noon;-)
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In weekends I get up around noon, so morning is noon and noon is morning ;-)
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The VB hotspot is already catched by Heman :-)
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But you never know whats behind this 55 right ?
See for example i could increast 5 pts now like this...
:-P
Arun.
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For each post by Zvo some points will be increased.
All continuous posts by him will be treated as one post. Meaning,
There should be some comment following Zvo by Jerrith or someone i dont care and the points will be increased.
Let see how far this goes !
;-)
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I have another question for Zvo! I have a postopen event.
I have a action button on the form with some codes.
I want to trigger the postopen event after i set a field in the document using this button.
I tried UIDocument.Refresh (i know this wont do that trigger). I relied on the uidoc.Reload() but this too wont do the job. How do i do it ???
Increasing the points for you buddy !!!
;-)
Arun.
you have not stated but I assume you are talking about PostOpen event of the Form, right?
If your PostOpen code is LotusScript than it is easy: simply declare in Form's Global section a new function with the code from your form's PostOpen event. Afterwards you can call this new Sub/Function at form opening time from PostOpen and from the Action button code.
If your PostOpen code are @Commands, then move the code to a new Agent with "RunOnce(@Commands..." setting and call it from PostOpen and from Action formula with this call:
@Command([ToolsRunMacro];"
I know that begging would decrees the points, so it's up to you <|:-)
ASKER
If there could be any easy way...
well Can i close and open the document ? That would be an easy option...just a thought. If i can do that i think my problem will be solved.
:-)
Another 5 increase since you posted something to this question...hee hee hee...!!!
Sub Click(Source As Button)
Dim ws As New NotesUIWorkspace
Dim uidoc As NotesUIDocument
Dim doc As NotesDocument
Dim EditMode As Integer
Set uidoc = ws.CurrentDocument
Set doc = uidoc.Document
EditMode = uidoc.EditMode
If EditMode Then Call uidoc.Save
Call uidoc.Close
Doevents
Set uidoc = ws.EditDocument(EditMode, doc)
End Sub
<|:-)
ASKER
Let you know how it went okay ?
Two biggies for you today Zvo ! You will be 100k before me. I resign!
;-)
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;-)
Or even better: in Groove shared space :-)
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Whoever gets an answer other than Zvo will be awarded pts separately. For Zvo this question pts will be increased.
Again for the quota this is increased by 5 now for zvo's last comment.
-Arun.
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I have a sign enabled field in a section. So, the username or the signature is displayed on the section right ?
Now, if i use Actions Forward, the signature field and the signature does not get forwarded. I know it should not get forwarded but is there a workaround to forward this signed document with the sign to someone ???
Jus Curious !
Arun.
ASKER
Zvo you deserve it buddy!
:-)
Arun
the problem with the signatures is that as soon as you resave the document the previous signature is gone. And you have to recreate it with the new recipient address (Forward or MailSend does it for you). The only exception is that signatures in sections with prohibited edit access are preserved. Check this option for you.
Good luck,
zvonko
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You are doing great buddy !
So far so good....
Do you like this game ?
:-)
Arun.
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Heman has stolen his 500pt question and Zvo should come here for sure LOL !!!
:-)
Arun.
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;-)
Arun.
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:-)
By the way have anyone had any success in converting @Command([ToolsRunSelected
I have done something tricky.... hee hee hee..
Hi boys!
Sailing was wonderful (but too short :)
This week I am on vacations but at home.
At office I will definitely have more time: Domino died at my Computer Center :(
Next week I am the first two days on Lotus.Workflow education but only as last action in this direction. Afterwards I retire from Lotus platform (and hope to dive in into Groove!!! :)
(no chance JM :)
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you are right.
Any thoughts ? The computeWithForm dies without doing anything since there are about 17 computed fields one depending on the other.
I have a wierd code right now, the selected documents will have a new value on one field.
These documents will be put on a Shared Folder (private folders are not allowed while putinfolder is used).
While putting in the folder i create a lock document for this folder.
After adding the docs to folder i call another agent that will switch the currentview to the folder. Select all documents and run the ToolsRefreshSelectedDocs and remove all the documents from the folder. Now, this agent will Return back to the previous view while calling another agent that will delete the lock for the folder.
This works fine But is there a neater solution ???
;-)
Arun.
PS: The lock is first checked if the folder is being used by someone else while a person is using this feature. Hmmm...
LOL
Neater assumes your solution is neat :)
ASKER
is there a better solution ???
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Look here (tested to work as requested :)
Sub Initialize
Dim rc As Variant
rc = Evaluate("@Command([ToolsR
End Sub
Of course has this LotusScript agent to act on: SelectedDocuments
How much points for this ;)
Testing was wrong; @Command does not work in Evaluate :)
now it gets difficult...
Sub Initialize
Dim session As New NotesSession
Dim db As NotesDatabase
Dim dc As NotesDocumentCollection
Dim doc As NotesDocument
Dim rc As Variant
Set db = session.CurrentDatabase
Set dc = db.UnprocessedDocuments
Set doc = dc.GetFirstDocument
While Not (doc Is Nothing)
rc = doc.ComputeWithForm( False, False )
Call doc.Save(True, False)
Set doc = dc.GetNextDocument( doc )
Wend
End Sub
Can you send a database to me with such forms?
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Damn You!
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I mean it. I still think i have your recorded voice in my Groove.
You know something ? Since you introduced groove, me and my girlie are grooving daily on it. Its real cool and it easily gets through the firewall of her company. Thanks to you man....
I will find a nice occasion to increase the points for Getting me Grooving with my Girl....
:-)
Arun.
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Where are you ?
;-P
Zvo ! Dont you want to keep this question active and accumulate a big one ?
(and give me 2000 for it! :)
ASKER
:-)
But for this comment you get another 5 pts...
You can get it run on any Notes client having Internet access trough LDAP port 389
Perhaps corporate firewall does not allow this to you.
When you get it one time running then I can give you all other parameters to use other LDAP ports, get authenticated binds for protected corporate attributes, select some records when there are too many, and so on...
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Zvo is really bad. He has posted so many comments and as I keep my words... here are 3 times 5 pts duely increased.
Zvo! Dont you see big money here ?
:-P
Arun.
OK Arun, this is for 5 points: I got this Lotus.Workflow course as a single student from a genius teacher looking and named like Shakira :-)
Ok, her name was Gaby Chakir, but she was really awesome.
Yesterday I have sent this course book to our repro department and want to ask you whether to send you a copy to your home address.
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Sorry to be so open....
Here are your 5 pts !
:-)
Should I send you next week the manual to home or to office address?
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And My Dear Brother, one quick question for you !
Do you still think that you will reach 100k before me ?
LOL !
;-P
Arun.
But for sure when I got your 2000 <|;-)
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Look at my points bro ! I hardly have 4k more ! and you have almost 20k !
Please withdraw the challenge buddy.... Or beg me i will let you pass 100k before me...
Again for your comment here is the quota of 5 pts !
:-)
Arun.
And only to say it with your words:
To know is to know that to know is not to know and that not to know is to know!
So you never know who of us two first get at 100k :-)
The small word "bet" you brought into play. I do not need to bet, I do know :-)
Now, have you pressed this Lookup button?
That would only work if Mooney do not come along and do spoil the party :(
JM, have you pressed this Lookup button?
Will make time to test it today, though :-)
Beside this is that button only the decoy to gulp the hook and I get my 2,000 :)
<Database Driver>Insufficient user privileges
I've tested this both on my client and through web (for the last I put the dll on the server's program directory). I always get the same result.
So, what's the problem here?
I have signed the database with an administrator userid in my testing environment.
JM, I told you to press the button!
You changed the code and placed some text for LDAP bind into third parameter. This wrong Bind paramater provocate this ERR_DBD_NOT_ALLOWED error.
Or you changed the LDAP host name from Verisign to some host requiring authentication. Then you get the same error.
Have you received the Patrick-response with the default button?
It seams to be a firewall problem. Let me investigate a second...
It seams to be a firewall problem. Let me investigate a second...
Is this a beta?
ROTFL
Arun, have you tested my DLL?
Come on, USA, go go go !!!
ASKER
<Database Driver>Insufficient user privileges
Okay now, you have posted 7 comments (8 actually and one got repeated okay) so adding 35 to this one and making the points climb up to 230 !
:-)
Are you happy ???
Try this link and *Grin*
https://www.experts-exchange.com/questions/20313866/user-activites-log-history-how-to-view.html
I have a nose to smell a rat making thousand questions from a 50 points question :)
But I think this is not your first disaster question :)
Better take a look at this:
http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/fifa/afp/20020621/i/1074405431.jpg
You see?
PS: try my ldap example from home. Firewalls are blocking my driver.
I think the Germans have the best goal keeper at the World Cup this year. If it weren't for him, they would surely have been eliminated a lot earlier.
What do you think about the referees? This weekend they just disallowed 2 perfectly valid goals from Spain.
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And here is your quota of 5 today !
:-)
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Hi Zvo-Bro !
;-)
Maybe it's the hollidays coming up or something like that.
Or people are just enjoying the beautiful sunshine in stead of worrying about their notes problems...
It's a very nice summer day here and I am stuck in office again :-(
But this evening I'm going swimming!!
ASKER
The bug with 5.10 regarding attachments has shown its face in yet another application. All our production servers are upgraded now and we dont have a choice now except waiting for Lotus for a patch or downgrading the server !
:-(
Arun.
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Where have you been all these days ? Come on Bro dont you want to increase points for this post ?
:-)
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:-)
Has anybody heard from agent Mulder lately? I think he's been abducted by aliens or he's run of with Scully.
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Hi Bro :-)
Arun.
you make me grinning :)
This is more worth then any points :-)
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And dont try to impress me okay ? Only 5 pts at a time okay ? Here is your 5 !!!!!
;-)
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But as promised here is your quota !
;-)
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He kept saying "Host not found (server failed)" :(
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Two more to go...
Arun, have you looked at my points in my profile? I am near at 100K :) a lot of 9s in the number :)
And then be prepared for the 500 points supper special ExpertsExchange LotusNotes question!!!
<|;-)
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:-)
And here is your 5+
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I am talking about this question link what else ?
I think Zvo is not interested anymore in this is it ?
;-)
LOL
ASKER
+15
:-)
Arun
PS: Dont you want to raise this to a 500 ???
No thanks, it's more funny not to know what the next step is :)
Otherwise it would get boring in short time.
ASKER
The discussion will get interesting only if i start increasing points in a different fashion.
I know Jerrith is a mushroom (Fungi...DAMN Fun - Guy).
So, here after 5 will be increased to you only if Jerrith comments after you. Otherwise you lose your to get your points okay ?
Here is your 5...
I will write a detailed rules to follow in my next comment.
ASKER
JM comments
5+
Zvo Comments
Arun Comments
No points
Zvo Comments
Zvo Comments
Arun Comments
No points
Arun Comments
Jerrith Comments
Zvo Comments
No points
Simple Rule Jerrith should follow Zvo to get Zvo 5 pts.
The only problem with this is I will try to save points by blocking Zvo's comment with mine before Jerrith does. Okay ?
Haa Haa Haa.... So, Now Jerrith has the responsibility to increase the points to you. Hope he will do a good job.
As I told you he is a Fun Guy....
Lets make it happen okay ?
JM, howdy!
;-)
ASKER
Shoot !
Alright guys!!! I was in a meeting then. Anyway, I am out of town for the next 4 days. Its gonna be a very big occasion for me....
ASKER
My girlfriend is coming to the US on Sunday. I have to drive for 11 hrs to receive her at the airport. She does not know i will be there. She thinks that I will meet her next week on my long weekend.
Wont it be a pleasant surprise for her ?
We have not seen eachother for over 3 years now. WOW... Think about it. I am busy getting gifts and presents for her. Dont forget I will be on my Beemer....
I am gonna enjoy life from now ...
:-)
Arun.
ASKER
Sorry i did not keep track as i was busy typing the comments....
Keep the ears upright Bro!
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You never commented anything about me going for my girl...
Are you jealous ??? LOL !!!
:-P
^..^
Congratulations on finally getting your girlfriend over to the states.
I hope you have a wonderful time together.
Zvonko and I will keep up the chat here, so when you get back you can immediately increase the points up to 500 to celebrate your reunion :-)
P.S.: Will you send us a picture of your girlfriend?
We're allready up to 290 :-D
295
ASKER
That was good going guys! Didn't you guys see my girlFriends picture ?
I will send it once i comeback okay ?
I though you as an correct Tamil would get one from your home town :)
(300 and counting).
Now Arun's gone, we can chat and get the amount of comments up so he needs to raise the points up to 500, hi hi.
ASKER
hee hee hee !!!
300 is on its way...Good work guys..
:-)
I was not looking for this, now is the Interrupter back...
ASKER
Bro ! you lost another 5 here LOL !!!
;-)
I will break this chain as often as possible until My Moonie comes for Zvo's rescue.... (Hi JM!)
How is your girl?
ASKER
Here it is...Grrr....
My girl is simply awesome. Even after 3 years she is still the same. No change. It was a highly romantic welcome by me. And she was thrilled excited.
All the 16 hours i spent with her was filled with Romance...Romance...Romanc
:-)
For this special occasion I give 5 more to my brother... so its 10+ on this comment...hobout that ?
ASKER
I just blocked you from adding another 5 hee hee hee....
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Where is our Bro ?
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Hi boys, I was simply busy.
Does this count also 5 points :)
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Not really the big money, but hey it's a start :-)
The game is like this:
You put together your own team of 12 riders and they collect points for every stage. Per stage the first 5 teams are awarded.
At the end of the Tour all points are added up together and all riders of your team are awarded points according to their final ranking.
The first twenty teams are awarded in the final.
You pay 5 EUR per team you inscribe and the entrance fees are then divided among the winners.
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LOL!
Sometimes it's fun to steal fifty and sometime it's greater job to show you are not a points junky :)
But one thing is true: I am extremely lazy :(
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Before JM could submit let me do it...haa haa haa ....
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Have a wonderful weekend guys!
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;-)
(wake up little Arun, wake up :)
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I will see from now how it goes up. I wokeup a little bit late since my girlfriend was here for the weekend to spend with me.
:-)
I am happy to increase it to 335 anyways....
Ha ha, she can stay over any time if we can sneak in a few extra comments every time she come s over :-)
ASKER
That was a memorable weekend that we spent.
:-)
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:-(
Here is your 5....
Just be glad sno isn't in on the plot, then we'd have double the fun LOL
ASKER
By the way why isn't he logging in to EE nowadays ?
ASKER
:-)
Good Job Gentlemen...
ASKER
You dont want the points or what ? You are in 90's already and just 10k to go to reach 100k right ? Come on buddy... you got some points here....
:-)
ASKER
https://www.experts-exchange.com/jsp/qManageQuestion.jsp?ta=lotusnotes&qid=20243127
Well, i used this in a view column formula. If there is multiple values then it works fine. If there is a single value then it shows it as "Not Categorized" which I dont want to see. Sorry guys to open this up again. Whoever gets me the answer will be rewarded.
I tried with a selection formula checking for one element and that messedup my entire view.
Here is what i want. I have a view with documents. One field value starts with "NR". This "NR" thing could be a part of list or a single value. This field is the first field in the view column categorized.
Now, If there is a list that contains "NR" then I dont want the "NR" to show. If there is only one value with "NR" then I dont want the document in the view.
Hope my requirement is clear now. Hmm after a long time the users have found this bug and caught me yesterday !!!!
I need a fix for it ASAP. The sooner the more points okay guys ???
Thanks a Lot for your effort buddies.
Hi Bro !!!
Hi JM !!!
:-)
Arun.
Put this into view's selection formula:
SELECT !@Begins(yourFieldName;"NR
@zvonko
Another 5 points extra
ASKER
:-)
Let me try view selection. And get back to you....
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'moning JM!
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i wont leave you guys to do that they are my points....
ASKER
If there is multi-values with all NR's then all the documents should be excluded.
If the values contain other than NR then the document should show up.
;-)
SELECT !@Contains(@UpperCase(your
Since the formula is case sensitive, I added the @UpperCase to be sure to compare uppercase with uppercase and I used @Contains in stead of @Begins.
I suppose "NR" will not show up elsewhere in the field except for at the beginning, so @Contains should work fine.
ASKER
1. Field value NR-001
2. Field Value NR-002;NR-003
3. Field Value NR-004;SXTK-001
I want to show only the last document and not the first two.
do you see my requirement now ? I still wonder if your formula will work. I am at home and let me check it @Office and get back okay ?
For view selection formula use this:
List:=@UpperCase(yourField
Key:="NR";
SELECT @Trim(@Explode(@Trim(@Impl
and for the column formula use this:
List:=@UpperCase(yourField
Key:="NR";
@Unique(@Explode(@Trim(@Im
Good luck,
zvonko
Hey Arun,
in my tests I see only this document nr#3 with value: NR-004;SXTK-001
The other two docs (or any empty categories) are not listed.
I guess this is another 5 ;-)
ASKER
let me get this thing tested. Thanks by the way and here is your additional 10
If this code works then you receive a bonus okay ?
ASKER
Now i have to drive to the office and i dont know how much you are going to take...
:-(
Here's another 5 :)
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You are simply Great ! It worked a Treat for me !
:-)
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Now Zvo has the previlege to demand how many points he needs for the @REplace solution.
I know he wont drain me though...
:-)
If you're not in a hurry, let's just keep this up until this question maxes out at 500 :-D
ASKER
I cannot give you pts cause the code is incomplete....
If i dont have a field value then I should display "Not Assigned" in the column
And these documents should be selected in the view too !
Sorry guys you get only 5 for now.
DAMN! I already moved this into production. I am backing it out until I get this resolved okay ?
Thanks again Guys! Note the + 5
ASKER
;-P
Have you seen a lazier goose than me ?
By the way i have gotten the pictures scanned. Give both your email ids i will send couple of them to you guys!
Here is the view SELECT formula:
List:=@UpperCase(yourField
Key:="NR";
SELECT (@Trim(@Explode(@Trim(@Imp
and here the column formula:
List:=@UpperCase(yourField
Key:="NR";
@If(@IsUnavailable(yourFie
@Unique(@Explode(@Trim(@Im
And this is surely more worth then 5 points :)
List:=@UpperCase(yourField
Key:="NR";
SELECT (@Trim(@Explode(@Trim(@Imp
and this for column formula:
List:=@UpperCase(yourField
Key:="NR";
@If(yourFieldName="";"Not Assigned";
@Unique(@Explode(@Trim(@Im
I am curious about new variation you invent in your requirement :)
ASKER
:-)
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:-)
This is what i got when i tried to post the comment.
Your Lotus Notes Question
Ask A Question Other Questions Reload Question
You cannot decrease the value of a question once posted.
Error (0) - the comment your provided was not added due to a database problem.
Please report this message (including the URL) to Customer Support.
ASKER
Thats a FIX....I took the second option of yours as the field was there and was empty.
Have another five on me, zvo!!
but now I have to leave for home.
See you.
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I'd left for home before zvonko posted his last comment, otherwise I would have surely added another comment :-p
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:-)
Is this the question that has the most number of comments ?
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There is a new problem with the selection criteria. This selection selects all the available forms in the database. I cannot filter it by adding only one specific form.
Zvonko! I need you to rescue me this time. I wonder why the specific form selection should not work along with this formula. Can anyone of you guys try with multiple forms and this selection formula ???
These users are real cool, they got the bug and came right to me and asked me to fix this one little thing. I thought this is easy but it wont get rid of the other 5 forms in the database.
DAMN !
:-(
Arun.
PLEASE HELP !!! I need this change to go before the end of the day....
ASKER
Here is the modified selection formula...
List:=@If(Form = "Estimations" ; @UpperCase(ReqNo); "");
Key:=@If(Form = "Estimations" ; "NR" ; "");
SELECT (Form = "Estimations" & (@Trim(@Explode(@Trim(@Imp
Just put it like this :
(your formula so far) & (Form="Form To Use")
That ought to do it, I guess.
SELECT
(Form = "Estimations") & (
(@Trim(@Explode(@Trim(@Imp
(ReqNo="")
)
And the column formula is then:
@Unique(@Explode(@Trim(@Im
I also assume this @UpperCase is not really relevant, right?
Or do you really like to exclude Nr-001 :)
The whole thing is not good, because of this hard coded "NR" in the view. I prefer to do such computations in documents on create or change and not every time in the view.
ASKER
Anyways, I did not lose any points eventhough you guys posted 3 comments.
I have moved the changes to production and the users are happy about it.
Next time when i move something to production i will make these suggested changes to the selection and the column.
Thanks guys!
Have a wonderful weekend !
-Arun.
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I will be in holidays from now until the end of August.
I go to Adria and to Bavarian Forest.
Nice time to you all,
zvonko
ASKER
Have a wonderful vacation. Are you going on a one month vacation ? That should be real cool...Enjoy your days.
Dont think of notes or points okay ? They will all be here for you we will keep this question active until you come okay ?
:-)
Arun.
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I am back at office for next five days and add this five days as first week in September. But today, tomorrow and the first three days of next week I am working.
Basically I had to came back because of a caching problem of my chiefs Notes client :)
But it is matching to my needs: I was not going to Adria. I will go there after sending my little girl to America. She is going for five weeks to San Martin, California.
So JM, let's increase the points :)
...and because it was so easy just another five...
ASKER
You know what ? There was not email notifiction from this question at all....
This was my casual entry to this question to wake u guys but you have surprised me for sure. Take your 10 points and lets continue the game okay ?
So, now long does it take for you guys to load this question ???
;-)
Arun
ASKER
Not again...! I forgot to add the points.. Here it goes for you Zvonko !
:-P
ASKER
405 times 4 dont you think this is big money for you ???
When shall we close this by the way ? Shall we try to hit EE's limits on this too ???
And.... Good to have your chiefs Notes crash so that you are here with us hee hee hee...
:-)
ASKER
He thinks that getting a 500*4 is a piece of cake but it aint !!!!
Again it should involve some fun and patience like this one right ?
LOL !
-Arun
PS: I dont think Zvo will ever comment on this question again. He is back from his vacation and not yet commented anything... 19 more back to back comments and he gets his max 500.... will he be able to acheive this ?
ASKER
Cool Insults for Immediate Use!!
1. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
2. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?
3. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
4. I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?
5. At least there's one thing good about your body. It isn't as ugly as your face!
6. Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing
7. Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head!
8. I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you.
9. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
10. If I had a face like yours. I'd sue my parents!
11. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!
12. Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?
13. Keep talking; someday you'll say something intelligent!
http://www.srbija.cc/humor/slike/humor114.gif
And my favorite:
"To know is to know that to know is not to know and that not to know is to know!"
So, I don't know?!? :)
ASKER
:-)
Let's see tomorrow.
So long,
zvonko
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He screwed all my expectations though...anyways....
:-)
Arun.
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This question takes forever to load. What shall we do ?
Will Zvo ever get into this to post a comment or what ?
$405 X 4 would be enough for me :)
ASKER
How is it ? Even if it takes a hellalot of time, I will login in and give you points. My ultimate goal is to give you a 500*4 with some fun too.
What do you say Jerrith ?
At the end of the week I go to computer Diaspora until 9th of September, but like JM today I am today a bad player :(
ASKER
Anyways, Have Fun Zvo. This question will wait for you to return. Hope I dont get to that 100k mark by then right ?
;-P
ASKER
Shall we ?
ASKER
I embedded the applets in Pages by selecting in menu:
Create->Java Applet
And selected this:
ImportAnAppletFromFile: checked
BaseDirectory: W:\LotusR5\Notes\data\ee\n
BaseClassNeme: com.objectplanet.NewsTicke
When I select this, the Designer internal resolve the jar and place the class name himself:
com.objectplanet.NewsTicke
After clicking OK you have to scroll in the left Object explorer view to the Applet to adjust the properties.
Clicking on this header line in object explorer and opening the Property dialog allow you to set Applet dimensions and other attributes.
For example, there is the place to set: 100% width and 24 pix height.
The parameters are best set by cut & paste feature. Edit in notepad this applet parameters:
<param name=header value="NewsTicker">
<param name=newsURL value="news.xml">
and paste it afterwards by clicking on parameter paste button.
To import the xml file I used your trick JM :)
Goto image resources, enter an asterisk and select this xml file. That works really great!
To set this page as database launch page is not worth describing to an expert (except the fact that to open in Notes client you have to embed this page into an one-frame frameset.
What do you say :-)
ASKER
Trying to hit two 500's at the sametime Zvo ??? Nice try but i am here to block each fiver from you guys as long as I could. Eventually you may get 500*4 from Jerrith before this question is closed.
By the way where is the cleanup volunteer or our Moonie ?
:-)
Arun.
They are gone with the Moonie :)
Tomorrow I am at airport and underway.
But on Friday I look for my points!
ASKER
The email stoppage has really given me enough time to block another fiver from Jerrith. Thanks to EE for not emailing.
Haa Haa Haa....
Hello Jerrith dont you want to help your friend out of this and get him some good points?
;-)
Arun.
Anyway, I had to give the points to Hemantha for my question, he provided me with a perfect solution. (And a lot quicker than I had expected too)
Better let's get five here :)
Let's bring this to an end.
Hey JM, your line at office is to fast for my home ISDN line :-)
and please another five.
Arun's gonna curse :-)
At least Arun has not to count the points :-)
Give me another five, please.
ASKER
But thats okay its all fun right ?
Zvo missed a biggie from Jerrith.... But he wont miss this 500 for sure....
:-)
Good going guys here is your 445
ASKER
You cannot do it for the next 8 hours for sure okay ?
Take it easy guys!
And after 8 hours i will be driving for 10 hours to meet my girl friend in washington DC and you guys will have another open period where you can boost this upto the maximum....
Hey Jerrith ! Did you see that Zvo is getting greedier and asking for another fiver from you ???
;-P
Its fun guys....
I'll be on vacation next week, so I probably won't be checking in on EE all week.
How could I solve JM's problem when I even did not understood the requirements :-)
But just now I am making this Access synchro and get so easy points :-)
ASKER
I am early to the office. I guess to stop you guys.
NOW, EE is sending emails promptly and get back to work !
:-)
Arun.
ASKER
My connection is so poor that by the time my post went through you got another fiver !
My Ass !
:-|
Arun.
ASKER
:-(
I am losing my points for sure i guess today we have to call it a day if my connection is so lousy....
Only ten more to go before we get to 500!!
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hee hee hee !
ASKER
Good Luck and lets see who wins today.
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Haa Haa Haa....
All I need is for zvo to get a comment in now and then :-)
ASKER
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That will be called a foul and no points will be added.
Okay Zvo ???
ASKER
:-)
Zvonko realised that today he cannot accumulate more points in this question.... he is not even looking at it.
ASKER
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DAMN ! I am getting ready for a meeting will catch you after 2 hours...
Hope EE goes down for another 3 days... hee hee hee !
Nearly takes 3 minutes on a LAN connection !!
only hear you on email notification :)
ASKER
:-(
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EE will be down for sure with this one question alone.
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This is good. Next question I will post to make it the busiest of all questions here at EE in lotus notes topic area....
I have an idea already... Every 10th commenting person will be awarded separately with a question. So this means this question will be active like crazy and every 10th person will be getting points outside of this question.
Interestingly the points will be increasing like crazy.
10th person get 10 pts
20th person will get 15 pts
30th person will get 20 pts..
The more the comments the more the points how is that ???
Wont it be fun ?
ASKER
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Arun, are you not afraid to get blocked with your account from EE? We are nearly on the border to this. You and I use this platform as IRC but this word Exchange does mean something else :)
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Today and perhaps tomorrow I am online.
So let us bring this to an end. It's getting wrong direction, you understand...
LOL
Okay, let's continue our game in little over a week >:-D
Let's finish it tomorrow afternoon. :-)
;-)
ASKER
Play with your "Little Brother" inside your pants... Haa Haa Haa !!!
I wish Sno was here in this discussion though... it would have been more fun.
Anyways, if tomorrow you guys are gonna wind this up then I have no other choice. I am off to see my girlfriend.
Take it easy guys! That was a lot of fun ! and it went for over 3 months now right ? GOOD!
:-)
Arun.
So what? Do I get this 500 with an A+ when we finish this?
This nightly comment will get you up to 490 anyway :-)
Now it's to easy to get the last two one :-)
I mean we could go on increasing, so Arun has to ask Moonie to give more then 500. But this would not be a good idea to ask anybody from CommunitySupport to look what we are here doing :-)
Maybe he's given up?
I'll check back in later, now I'm working on my oldtimer.
At first glance it looks as if most bugs have been solved and this is starting to really look good :-)
ASKER
And now we are at 495.
One more to go Zvo... and it should be an easy one.
Just take it buddy... We will start off with another good one.
:-)
Arun.
ASKER
Are you guys in here or not ?
Hey, did you guys notice all the EE changes today?
ASKER
Instead of making this colorful changes and look and feel why dont they improve the performance and make questions like these available faster on dialup modems too ?
This has been a 3 month game that was going on between us.
Anyways, Zvonko has one post to be followed by Jerrith to close this question.
I wonder if Zvonko would ever post his final comment....
:-(
Arun.
Welcome to the party Sno...
ASKER
Instead of making this colorful changes and look and feel why dont they improve the performance and make questions like these available faster on dialup modems too ?
This has been a 3 month game that was going on between us.
Anyways, Zvonko has one post to be followed by Jerrith to close this question.
I wonder if Zvonko would ever post his final comment....
:-(
Arun.
Welcome to the party Sno...
ASKER
Let me ask you frankly..."Do you like any of the new features of EE ?"
I liked to see only one thing. The top 15 experts are now right in the middle of the page. Other than that nothing special... I dont see any performance improvement too...
Even the links are kinda scattered over the page. I dont know what i am looking for and where i am sometimes. You know "Return to Topic Area" that is missing too. Who asked for these changes. Damn!
:-|
Arun.
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:-( I want zvonko and Jerrith to come here and post something for us.
:-)
Arun.
By the way do you know "Baba" ??? Visit http://www.babathemovie.com/ and let me know.
Must say, at first glance, I don't like this "new and improved" EE.
The new EE puts Lotus Notes under email!
Really, guys. This is like 2% of what notes can do. That's like comparing a real Ferrari to a toy car.
If anyone feels like commenting, here's a link to the question: https://www.experts-exchange.com/questions/20337897/Lotus-Notes-is-not-an-email-program.html
let's take the last five :-)
Did you see this Dynamo topic area?
ASKER
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;-)
Arun.
By the way where is our Jerrith... the point winner for you ?
Did you get the email with my opinion about this silly agent loop?
ASKER
Jerrith hopefully wants this question to go on and on for a while.
I want Sno to actively participate in this one until you guys hit the match winner !
:-)
There you go zvonko, the last comment to get you to the 500 point mark.
Congratulations buddy!!
<|:-)
But buddies, who of you is sending me this contract offer by anonymous email as B. Bob :-)
https://www.experts-exchange.com/questions/20248391/Unemployment-Blues-for-those-of-us-who-are-or-have-been.html
I handle it so far as a joke. If something really interesting is produced from this joke, then of course you will get it.
ASKER
That was great boyz. Here is the Max points for a question...
Now Zvo ! Do you remember me saying that these pts are for a big achievement ? I am going to hold these points for you until that moment. Sorry buddy....
And try guessing what that big occasion is... If possible lets keep this thing active until then.
Again, that big moment is not too far off okay ? so, dont you worry...
;-P
Arun.
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I added 510 pts but it would not allow me to cross 500...
Sorry Zvo ! This is the max you can get out of this question.
:-(
Arun
Have you tried this:
https://www.experts-exchange.com/Applications/Email/Lotus_Notes/editQuickLinks.jsp
ASKER
You can never see such a fame for any cinema actor.
I am one Hell of his FAN. My beemer was full of "BABA" Logo stickers and we 8 people wore identical shirts with the sign of the movie and the theatre was full of fun with more crazier people like us. We went with horns big and small to blow out the theatre. I shredded a huge bag full of papers and carried it to the theatre to welcome our Rajni on Screen.
The moment Rajni came on screen we 4 people climbed the stage and felt the screen and it was fun. We danced and shouted like crazy. We had lots of fun at the theatre.
I will send you pictures of that event and you will know how crazy we are for Rajni... he has grown old but still the fame continues....
He is well known for his styles... more to come in your emails...
:-P
Arun.
PS: By the way me and my girlfriend went camping on sunday and she celebrated her birthday at the camp with me. It was one memorable event. Pictures yet to be developed and mailed. Lots more to come from me....
http://movies.indiainfo.com/tamil/movienews/rajni-baba.html
http://www.easyreachindia.com/rajini50/baba.htm#facts
But something is suspect here: why does the production company call "Lotus International"
Are you BABA?
ASKER
This guy has Ashrams all over the world including the US and they are called "Lotus"
Some of the funding for this movie and international release rights belong to this ashram hence the name "Lotus International"
Interestingly day before yesterday this guy "Sachidhanandha swamy" died of heart attack and Rajni bought his dead body to Virginia (USA) for the final cremation...
How about that ?
:-)
Arun.
ASKER
Usually Tamil movies are screened for two shows only. But BaBa went for 5 shows (Three in Tamil & 2 dubbed in Telugu)
There were two afro-american girls at the theatre, I asked them,
"Have you ever seen any crazy people like us for movies ???"
she goes, "No !!! Not in my life !!!"
I replied her, "This is just 1% of what you see in India !"
And she goes... "WwwwOOOwwwW" !!!
Here in US its only couple 100 audience in india its 1000's .... It was fun guys... you will know when you see my pictures we had REAL Fun...
The movie was not that great... it was just for our SuperStar who came after 3 years !
But maybe that's because we never see any Tamil movies in theatres here.
A few thousand going to the same movie at the same time? That must be some huge theatre, or is it shown in open air?
Here most theatres have digital dolby surround sound and only have a few hundred seats.
There's even some smaller theatres where there's likely to be less than 100 seats, which makes for a very intimite movie experience, especially for action features with the digital sound blasting all around you, that makes for some spectacular movie experience!!
ASKER
Sometimes technology hits but mostly its the story + Star value.
This BABA did not have a good story, but the star value made it a massive collection. It had many political impact in tamilnadu (South India). People want Rajnikanth to become the chief minister, and the current politicians trying to spoil the superstars image.... This guy is always confusing about entering into politics but gives messages through his movies like he may come into politics or may not. Thats another expectation when people go to these movies.
Will the superstar enter into politics or not. Is there an answer in this movie atleast ?
The theatres can accomodate atleast 3 times the volume here. But the crowd will be waiting for the next two or even three shows before the theatre and to get the tickets.
Its fun being in the crowd you know ?
I have seen people waiting to get the tickets at 4:00 AM where the show timing will be evening/night 6:00 PM Crazy people.... They cannot wait for a few more days.
:-)
If i get some pictures of theatres with crowd i will send it to you guys you can see.
ASKER
Come on guys! Keep this active !
:-)
Arun.
ASKER
Take a look at it...
Oru Rasiganin Paarvai...(from a Fans point of view)
Rajnikanth's much hyped Baba is a total let down even for his die-hard fans! The film lacks mass appeal and looks more like a propaganda movie for the 'Hindutva' brigade. Baba is in the same genre as the mythological films dished out by the veteran Telugu director Vittalacharya of the early 70's with ancient amateurish graphics. The
bad news is that even with make-up (lipstick too!) Rajnikanth looks old and disinterested in the proceedings. The film lacks a coherent storyline and was obviously designed to showcase Rajnikanth's superstar
image. However due to lack of support from his co-artistes and with no narrative the film becomes sluggish and tedious. His earlier film Padayappa was a big hit as Rajnikanth's taming of Neelambari was the focus of the film and the audience loved it. Here the bad-men Aashish
Vidyarthi and Bharat Dabbolkar are mere cardboard villains who ham it out.
The film opens when a group of saints come to the house of a childless couple and bless them. Later when the baby (an avatar) is born, they come once again and name him Baba and predict that he would become famous! This baby grows up (Rajnikanth) to be an atheist who is a local goon and a do-gooder, who raises his voice against injustice and big bullies. Baba rubs a local politician (Aashish Vidyarthi) and his son the wrong way and becomes their target. Chamundeswari (Manisha Koirala) is his neighbour, who falls in love with him. One day Baba is enlightened by a guru, who takes him to the Himalayas (or heaven!!!),
grants him seven wishes and sends him back. After coming back, along with his friends he tries to test if the magic works by doing silly things like bringing down a kite from the sky, asking for 10 lakhs etc. Thus he wastes his four wishes, till his uncle (M.N.Nambiar) reminds him about his amazing supernatural power which God had granted him and later pleads with him to use the rest three wishes for a good cause. The villains including the Chief Minister (Bharat Dabbolkar) on hearing this calls Baba and asks him to wish for his government to be in power for the next 30 years! When Baba denies, his
mother(Sujatha) is attacked and a predictable tedious climax the good triumphs over evil. In the last scene Rajni is shown walking towards the people of Tamilnadu and taking up the responsibility thrust upon him to be the future leader.
Rajnikanth as Baba looks aged and jaded. Manisha Koirala looks plump and artificial as she sleepwalks through the film. Goundamani as Baba's right-hand man can retire as early as possible as his crude comedy is ancient. The others in the cast like Amrish Puri,Sayaji Shinde,
Vijayakumar, Seema, Sanghavi, Delhi Ganesh and Karunas have nothing much to do. Had Ramya Krishnan and a Japanese girl to be a part of the film?
A.R.Rahman's music does not gel with the 'Hindutva' theme. Chotu Naidu's camera is terrible. The film has been entirely shot in a single set and more over the special effects and graphics are very tacky. Suresh Krissna who had earlier dished out with Rajni classics like Annamalai and Baasha has taken the audience for a right royal ride!
Verdict: What a Let Down!
:-(
Arun.
ASKER
En iniya Tamil Ullangale,(Dearest Tamil !!!)
Vanakkam. Hope most of you have seen Rajnikant's latest movie 'Baba'. In an interview earlier this year, Rajni said he did not make any movie in the
last 3 years because he did not get a "good story". If Rajni thinks that Baba story is the "good story" he was waiting for, then it is crystal clear that he does not know the difference between "good" and "bad".
Rajni says the "maha sakthi who is living in the Himalayas for 2000 years" asked him to make a spiritual movie and propagate the spiritual deeds among
the (Tamil) people. It is apparent if one wonders that how come the same "maha sakthi" did not ask Rajni, not to make crores out of this (spiritual) movie!!! If Rajni had really wanted to sow the spiritual deeds of his guru,
why did he get a special permission from the government of TN to fix the ticket price at the best of theatre owners (on an average 4 times)??? Once again he fulfilled himself by snatching away the crores of rupees from the poor Tamil people and his crazy fans.
Other than a kalyana mandapam and a school, what has he done for the same Tamils who gave him amazing wealth and the 'Super Star' image that he has
today? Did he ever try to translate the mass support of his fans for the development of our society? Has Rajni proved that he is better than the politicians in TN? When the people of Tamil Nadu was expecting to get a lifting hand from him, he introduced a "2000 year old living God" in a very serious manner and confused the people whose land is already daunted by thousands of Gods and Swami. His recent activities proved beyond doubt that he could do nothing on his own & he is fully dependent on some priests. If Rajni who doesn't have a clear vision and surrendered himself to non existing Gods, got elected to any office in TN, do you think he will be able to act on his own and deliver his duties in a right way? I am ashamed to say that I was one of the thousands who believed this actor could do something good for our society.
What you and me can do here? Whenever you talk to your friends and people (in India), let them be aware of the facts about this actor so that they will not be easily "cheated" by this "Modern Businessman"!!!
Please click on the following link to read an excerpt from 'India Today'. http://www.tamilcinema.com/cinenews2.asp?fname=BBB.htm
If you don't see the Tamil letters, copy the link, paste it in Internet Explorer and click "Yes" to automatically install the required font. If it still doesn't help, download and install the font from www.tamilcinema.com
Thanks a lot for your time with John P.
ASKER
Just like our question here at Experts-Exchange ! Did you guys notice that today EE's performance is going down ?
Come on guys somebody give me another 2k pts and let me retire !
;-P
I've earned over 4000 points this month, just answering small questions. I'm sure you can do that too :-)
<Grin>
You see Arun it is never getting boring here :-)
And I am sure you will look for us from time to time after your "retiring". From time to time is meant: every minute :)
ASKER
I am leaving to washington DC for the long weekend ahead to spend time with my girlfriend. Its gonna be a lot fun. I will be spending about 4 days with her. WOW thrills me everytime i think of it.
Dont reach 100k before I come okay Zvo ?
Thanks!
Arun.
When you want to go to it.
Relax - don't do it
When you want to come.
ASKER
I was trying to say come back okay ?
Not cum on Back - are you becoming like Snocross lately ?
LOL!!!
;-P
Arun.
when you want to suck to it
Relax don't do it
when you want to cum
when you want to cum
Ha ha ha, I can't belive Zvonko knows that song!
I married late with 27 and I do not believe I have missed something before my marriage :-)
Only from love and thankfulness to him who suffered for my sins I do not betray my wife, if you understand what I mean.
ASKER
My dear friend.... can you comment on my Hero Veerappan in this forum ?
;-)
Arun.
...
Elephants were not the only ones that Veerappan killed. He killed policemen too, whenever he got a chance -- and it is this that has made him such a dreaded name."
And the picture! :{
http://www.rediff.com/news/2000/jul/31pic2.jpg
Anyone who kills people, no matter for what reason except to save your own life, is no hero either.
He can burn in hell for all I care !
I consider him to be no better than for example Osama Bin Laden and his gang of terrorists.
ASKER
Here is my part on Veerappan.....
YES! He killed elephants for ivory. How was he able to trade them ? with the full support of politicians. When Ivory lost its worth he stopped killing elephants and started cutting down sandalwood trees.
Again with the corrupted politicians support he was able to trade them for weapons and food and money.
Suddenly at one point these guys dont want veerappan to live any longer. Half were still supporting and half want him dead. Everything is political back there. Its not one state affair its two states since the forest where veerappan is hiding is in the border of these two states and they are not in good terms with eachother. One wants to catch him and the other wants to protect him....
We have problems with Karnataka on water issues. They dont give us water. This time one of veerappans demand is for karnataka to release water to Tamilnadu. Why should he place such a demand ?
Last time when he kidnapped the actor, he was charged of having relations with the LTTE....and the Tamilnadu government charged him but did not catch him.
The indian Army came in and spend millions of dollars to catch him but destroyed and raped forests and villagers. Everyone are trying to take advantage of the situation.
One simple question to you guys.... Why would the villagers support Veerappan if he is a murderer ? Why would they protect him ? Is it because he gives them money ? NO ! Because he protects them by killing the policemen who come **** the villagers...
Bottomline, veerappan could be compared to osama but on a minor scale. The government dont want to find him thats all. May be billions of dollars were earned by him and he has accounts of every deal with every politician. And these guys are scared that veerappan might let out in public on those deals....
Hmmm... things gets interesting everytime. Again i will tell you something. Veerappan will release the ex-minister for sure but no one knows when. The Army will come and spend millions of dollars but wont find or catch him. They will leave after 6 months one year. One year later when there are no talks about Veerappan, he will take couple more guys....
This has been a routine for a while and will remain the same until he grows old and dies in the forest.
:-)
Arun.
ASKER
Okay Guys! It took me 3 minutes to get into this question.
Lets enroll ourselves in this question to qualify ourselves in our Ideas / Tips / Tricks question.
Who ever posts a comment here in this question after this comment will be valid to post comments on ideas question.
By doing this I recognize our Zvo too !
;-)
Arun.
Now, I don't understand why you want us to be posting stuff here to get points in the IDEAS question...
Here is mine: what a beautiful day! :-)
I have also a question about IDEAS topic. Wouldn’t it be good to have the option that any idea is disqualified if found elsewhere on the net posted in similar fashion? (of course only if dated before published in our collection :)
That mean, only really new ideas are graded!
Zvonko,
Find tips & tricks on the net are a great resource for any developer, so I don't think those tips should be disqualified. They're just as useful as new tips.
Of course, don't go posting the tips & tricks from the db that Gus sent us, that would be considered cheating.
Damn, really thought I came up with this one :-)
There are a few tips from stamp in there, you're absolutely right :-)
Now what? You don't seriously expect me to read all this?
It took < 4 min. to download. Did not pay too much attention to that: busy reading Q_20344525.
Good example of a case where caching is no use!
thanks for your joke. It's more a real-world-story then a joke :-)
ASKER
Is this question still active ? And people able to get in and discuss things ? Thats amazing....
Poor Crak it takes him 4 minutes to download this question and another 4 minutes to post his comments ??? Anyway he is enrolled in here too !
Some one tell me who gets the first 50 points from me ???
I will offer it outside as a new question okay ?
:-)
Arun.
On the other hand: from time to time performance seems to reduce to nill. Even the home screen does not always pop up!
ASKER
Lets do it this way.... whoever posts 5 comments in this question will get a 50 pts LOL !!!
;-P
Arun.
ASKER
Where is he ? Is he trying to get into this question with his usual comments ?
And by the way how soon this question loads for you Zvo ? I see always you commenting faster than anyone on this question.... you have a sql statement to update this question or what ?
;-P
Arun.
ASKER
Tomorrow Sno/Crak and Jerrith will see lots of email from this question and will try to get into this to see what really is here.
And eventually EE will break again !
LOL !
;-)
Arun.
ASKER
hmmmm...
A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies one morning. George Bush was on his morning run, accompanied by some Secret Service workers. Dubya asked the boy what kind of puppies were in the box.
The little boy said, "Republicans."
The President beamed, patted the boy on the head, and said, "Thatta boy!"
A few weeks later Bush was jogging again, this time with Dick Cheney in tow. Bush stopped at the boy's house, winked at Dick and said, "Hey kid, what kind of pupies are in the box?"
The boy said, "Democracts"
Bush looked crushed, saying, "What happened? A few weeks ago they were Republicans!"
The boy said, "Well, the puppies opened their eyes."
ASKER
They decide to play hide-n-seek.........
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...........
He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching.....
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it
rite in front of Einstein...........
Einsteins counting......97,98,99....
He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........
Einstein says "Newton's out..Newton's....out....."
Newton denies and says "I am not out........
He claims that he is not Newton......
All the scientists come out and he proves that he is
not newton..........
how.................??????
scroll down.........
....scroll down......... further..............
His proof:
Newton says:
I am standing in a square of area 1m square.....
That means I am Newton per meter square......
Hence I am Pascal....since newton per meter square =
Pascal
ASKER
That will be good for all the immigrants who come to the US and also be good for SNO !!!
LOL !!!
;-P
Arun.
ASKER
:-(
Great news guys.... figured out yet how many inches fit it one meter?
ASKER
I dont do that stuff no more. I start from the office with the cell phone talking to my girlfriend. I get home and i continue talking while i have my little drink and a bit of cooking and cleaning. By the time i finish my dinner at 9:30 i feel very very sleepy. I dont have time to sit on my puter and post comments on slower questions like this...
I get up at 6:15 on an average get ready by 6:45 and switch ON my phone until i reach my office at 8:15 !
Where do you see time for me to browse and be awake hmm?
Did you know that in hardly a month (leave the weekends since we meet every week and dont use the phone) we have spoken for almost 110 hours !!!!!
VoiceStream sure will go bankrupt with customers like us!
LOL !!!
;-)
Arun.
PS: I have started calling you bro...so, lets get rid of the "Friend" thing.... it reminds me of something else *haa haa haa*
Have you ever been to Cedar Rapids in Ohio? We should meet there some time.
Modified or original, you can choose ;->
There was a discussion going on where Arun proposed, isn't it?
I don't have them here at work, but at home, so I'll forward them from there :-)
ASKER
I never checked this question for a while and it still active. Good work guys!
Let me answer all of your questions:
Sno-Bro: I just live 7 miles from work. All I wanted to tell you is i start on the phone and keep going while i get ready to work. I dont talk to her while i am at shower. Otherwise i let her listen to my musical fart and stuff like that... haa haa haa !!!
And i guess you are mentioning about Cedar point/6 flags. Yea we could definitely meet one season. Cedar Rapids is a city with no importance i guess. May be if there is any let me know.
CRAK: Yes! My girlfriends name is "Rani" and we meet every weekend. She takes a bus and travels for 13-14 hours to see me for saturday and half of sunday. And about pictures, i have got tonnes of us together. Will send you whenever i find time at home and i dont have any of them at the office right now. Or may be Jerrith would do me a favor in forwarding them to you !
Jerrith : Thanks buddy!
By the way where is Zvo-Bro ?
Ha ha ha.... another advantage of this small country!
Please do send one or two photo's of yourselves. Just don't send tons! I'm using a free account with only a 5 MB mailbox.
CRAK, wow only 1.5 hours! It took me 4days to travel across country!
ASKER
ASKER
:-)
Arun.
CRAK, it takes me 25 minutes just to drive from work to my house. It takes 5 hours just to get to the top of our state!
ASKER
:-)
Arun.
45 minutes is in summer when everybody is on vacation, 1h15 minutes is on regular work days when I leave early or late for work. If I try to go there at peek times, it will take me up to two hours or more to get there, so I tend to start early or late, depending on how late I get out of bed :-)
ASKER
I moved to a place closer to work 7 miles away and its completely local roads. If i start at 5:00AM or 9:15AM from home i can reach office in 11-14 minutes.
But, yesterday i started from work at 5:00PM ****in peakest hour (peak hours are between 4:30-5:45) and it took me 50 minutes to reach my apartments.
Mornings too is difficult for me cause it take on an average of 30 minutes. I hate moving closer. I thought honestly that i should not have moved from my old place which is far but the travel time is real good.
Hmmm.. I will get used to it soon i guess...
:-)
Arun.
Jerrith, man you should move closer... you are wasting a good part of your life sitting in your car! You might as well live in Los Angeles.
ASKER
That was an excellent one from CRAK.... I Love your sense of humor buddy!
:-)
ASKER
=================
Grandfather -- a man whose daughter once married someone who was vastly her inferior mentally but consequently gave birth to unbelievably brilliant grandchildren.
Grandmother -- a baby-sitter who doesn't hang around the refrigerator.
Father -- someone who has redeemed the money in his wallet for snapshots.
Mother -- the person who feeds the mouth that bites her.
Child -- a lump bred up in darkness.
Aunt -- the only person who would have made a better mother than your mother.
Uncle -- a relative who only seems to like you when he needs something done for him.
Son -- the result of getting what you thought you wanted.
Daughter -- a person who dad likes because she reminds him why he married his wife, and who mother is afraid of because she reminds her of why her husband married her.
Cousin -- the relative most likely to be responsible for your trouble.
Mother-in-law -- a ready source of all knowledge, especially advice, history, and judgments.
Father-in-law -- the fellow who is now happy to have paid for the wedding because now his wife has another man to harass.
=========================
ASKER
Now that I've worked with computers for the last few years, I've gained an insider's perspective. I decided to share my knowledge with the uninitiated by creating the following brief, handy glossary:
ALPHA: Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."
BETA: Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."
COMPUTER: Instrument of torture. The first computer was invented by Roger "Duffy" Billingsly, a British scientist. In a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler, Duffy disguised himself as a German ally and offered his invention as a gift to the surly dictator. The plot worked. On April 8, 1945, Adolf became so enraged at the "Incompatible File Format" error message that he shot himself. The war ended soon after Hitler's death, and Duffy began working for IBM.
CPU: Central propulsion unit. The CPU is the computer's engine. It consists of a hard drive, an interface card and a tiny spinning wheel that's powered by a running rodent - a gerbil if the machine is a 386, a ferret if it's a 486 and a ferret on speed if it's a Pentium.
DEFAULT DIRECTORY: Black hole. Default directory is where all files that you need disappear.
ERROR MESSAGE: Terse, baffling remark used by programmers to place blame on users for the program's shortcomings.
FILE: A document that has been saved with an unidentifiable name. It helps to think of a file as something stored in a file cabinet - except when you try to remove the file, the cabinet gives you an electric shock and tells you the file format is unknown.
HARDWARE: Collective term for any computer-related object that can be kicked or battered.
HELP: The feature that assists in generating more questions. When the help feature is used correctly, users are able to navigate through a series of Help screens and end up where they started from without learning anything.
INPUT/OUTPUT: Information is input from the keyboard as intelligible data and output to the printer as unrecognizable junk.
INTERIM RELEASE: A programmer's feeble attempt at repentance.
MEMORY: Of computer components, the most generous in terms of variety, and the skimpiest in terms of quantity.
PRINTER: A joke in poor taste. A printer consists of three main parts...the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
PROGRAMMERS: Computer avengers. Once members of that group of high school nerds who wore tape on their glasses, played Dungeons and Dragons, and memorized Star Trek episodes; now millionaires who create "user-friendly" software to get revenge on whoever gave them noogies.
REFERENCE MANUAL: Object that raises the monitor to eye level. Also used to compensate for that short table leg.
SCHEDULED RELEASE DATE: A carefully calculated date determined by estimating the actual shipping date and subtracting six months from it.
USER-FRIENDLY: Of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to a programmer.
USERS: Collective term for those who stare vacantly at a monitor.
Users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
NOVICE USERS. People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
INTERMEDIATE USERS. People who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it.
EXPERT USERS. People who break other people's computers.
ASKER
A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
ASKER
"Marriage is a wonderful invention; but, then again, so is a bicycle repair kit." - Billy Conolly.
"A woman asked her husband to go to the video store and get 'Scent of a Woman'. Her husband came back with a 'Fish Called Wanda'."
"The phrase 'rule of thumb' is derived from and old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb."
"There's only two things about me that my wife doesn't care for: 1) everything I say, and 2) everything I do."
"Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't ? Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed. Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator."
"Q: Why do men usually die before their wives ? Because they want to."
"A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once."
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married ?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying".
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her ?" Dad: "That happens in every country, son."
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
"Make love, not war. I'm married, I do both."
"Bigamy ? It's having one wife too much......Monogamy ? It's the same" - Oscar Wilde.
"Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds can get you shot."
"Life is a bitch, then you marry one."
"The most common form of marriage proposal: 'YOU'RE WHAT !?'"
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." - Mignon McLaughlin.
"A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished." - Zsa Zsa Gabor.
"I think weddings are sadder than funerals, because they remind you of your own wedding. You can't be reminded of your own funeral because it hasn't happened. But weddings always make me cry." - Brendan Behan (1923-64) Irish playwright.
"Ah, yes, 'divorce'. From the Latin for 'having your genitals torn off through your wallet'." - Robin Williams.
"Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent."
"Three rings of marriage: The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." - George Burns.
"How do most men define marriage ? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free."
"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once."
"Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that."
"If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books." - Alan King.
"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house." - Zsa Zsa Gabor.
"Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success." - Jim Backus.
"Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage." - Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
"Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest." - Professor Irwin Corey.
"Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up." - Evelyn Hendrickson.
"Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers." - Richard Pryor.
"Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them." - Sydney Smith.
"My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely." - Rodney Dangerfield.
"My wife was in labor with our first child for thirty-two hours and I was faithful to her the whole time." - Jonathan Katz.
"What food sucks 80% of the sex drive from a woman ? The wedding cake."
"They say that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. That's not as bad as it sounds, considering that the other 50% end in death."
"I still miss my Ex, But my aim is getting better" - Bumper sticker.
Marriage is an institution
Marriage is love
Love is blind
Therefore: Marriage is an institution for the blind
I married Miss Right... Then i found out first name was 'Always'
Marriage is an institution, but i'm not mad enough to be institutionalized.
If you want to know what your wife/girlfriend will look like in 30 years time, just look at her mother
ASKER
...a handy subject with many advantages.
1. you don't have to look your best
2. you never have to say "I love you"...promise to mow the lawn... buy flowers/dinner...lie about the size of your hand's arse etc.
3. if you use your other hand it feels like someone else
4. you can use both hands and have and orgy
5. you don't have to promise to call in the morning
6. and as long as you're careful you'll never end up with the wet spot.
7. you can make it last for hours, if you do it a certain way
8. you can do it wherever there is a public toilet which has a private cubical (ie supermarket, shopping centre, railway station, on a train, etc, etc)
9. you don't need to make an appointment in advance
it doesn't really make you go blind, not unless your hand slides off the end and you poke yourself in the eye.
ASKER
^ If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
^ I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
^ If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
^ Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
^ What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
^ I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
^ I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for their finals.
^ I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?
^ Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.
^ How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
^ VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
^ If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
^ You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
^ Clones are people two.
^ If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
^ If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
^ Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
^ Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
ASKER
1. LOG ON: Makin a wood stove hotter.
2. LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
3. MONITOR: Keepin an eye on the wood stove.
4. DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truk.
5. MEGA HERTZ: When yer not kerful gettin the farwood.
6. FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.
7. RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood.
8. HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time.
9. PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.
10. WINDOWS: Whut to shut wen it's cold outside.
11. SCREEN: Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season.
12. BYTE: Whut them dang flys do.
13. CHIP: Munchies fer the TV.
14. MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.
15. MODEM: Whut cha did to the hay fields.
16. DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife.
17. LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps.
18. KEYBOARD: Whar ya hang the dang keys.
19. SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifs.
20. MOUSE: Whut eats the grain in the barn.
21. MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof.
22. PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine
23. ENTER: Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all"
24. RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks.
25. MOUSE PAD: That hippie talk fer the rat hole.
Why else this jokes abut marriage and masturbation?
ASKER
^ You can enjoy a BEER all month.
^ BEER stains wash out.
^ You don't have to wine and dine a BEER.
^ Your BEER will always wait patiently for you in the car.
^ When BEER goes flat you toss it out.
^ BEER is never late.
^ HANGOVERS go away.
^ A BEER doesn't get jealous when you grab another BEER.
^ BEER labels come off without a fight.
^ When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a BEER.
^ BEER never has a headache.
^ After you have a BEER, the bottle is still worth a nickel.
^ A BEER won't get upset if you come home with BEER on your breath.
^ If you pour a BEER right, you will always get good head.
^ You can have more than one BEER a night and not feel guilty.
^ A BEER ALWAYS goes down easy.
^ You can share a BEER with your friends.
^ You always know that you are the first one to pop a BEER.
^ A BEER is always wet.
^ BEER doesn't demand equality.
^ A BEER doesn't care when you come.
^ You can have a BEER in public.
^ A frigid BEER is a good BEER.
^ You don't have to wash a BEER before it tastes good.
^ BEER always comes in multiples of six.
^ BEER doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left.
^ You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a BEER.
^ After you have a BEER, you're committed to nothing other than dumping the empty bottle.
^ A BEER never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty.
^ When your BEER is gone, you just pop another.
^ You rarely (if ever) find BEER labels on the shower curtain rod.
^ BEER looks the same in the morning.
^ BEER doesn't look you up in a month.
^ BEER doesn't worry about someone walking in.
^ BEER doesn't worry about waking the kids.
^ BEER doesn't get cramps.
^ BEER doesn't have a mother.
^ BEER doesn't have morals.
^ BEER doesn't go crazy once a month.
^ BEER always listens and never argues.
^ BEER labels don't go out of style every year.
^ BEER doesn't whine, it bubbles.
^ BEER doesn't have cold hands/feet.
^ BEER doesn't demand equality.
^ BEER is never overweight.
^ If you change BEERS, you don't have to pay alimony.
^ BEER won't run off with your credit cards.
^ BEER doesn't have a lawyer.
^ BEER doesn't need much closet space.
^ BEER can't give your herpes or other nasty things.
^ BEER doesn't complain about the way you drive.
^ BEER doesn't mind if you fart or belch.
^ BEER never changes its mind.
^ BEER doesn't tease you or play hard to get.
^ BEER never asks you to change the station.
^ BEER doesn't make you go shopping.
^ BEER doesn't tell you to mow the grass.
^ BEER doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.
^ BEER is always easy to pick up.
^ Big, fat BEERS are nice to have.
^ BEER doesn't pout or play games.
^ BEER NEVER says no.
^ BEER is easy to get into.
^ BEER never complains when you take it somewhere.
^ BEER doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other BEERS
^ BEER doesn't wear a bra.
^ BEER doesn't mind getting dirty.
^ BEER doesn't complain about insensitivity.
^ BEER doesn't use up your toilet paper.
^ BEER doesn't live with its mother.
^ BEER doesn't blow you off.
^ BEER doesn't care if you have no culture or manners.
^ BEER doesn't bitch, yell, or cry.
^ BEER doesn't mind football season.
^ A BEER won't make you go to church.
^ A BEER is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.
^ A BEER doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
^ A BEER doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose".
^ A BEER doesn't care if you keep a bunch of other BEERS around.
^ BEER will not insist that those stupid Michelin commercials with babies are "cute".
^ If a BEER leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while.
^ A BEER will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of "doberperson".
^ A BEER won't mind being next to you after 5 straight hours of working on your car.
^ A BEER won't claim that the Three Stooges are ****heads.
^ A BEER won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up.
^ If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" around a BEER, it won't think you're talking about an enormous can of vegetable juice.
^ A BEER won't whine that seatbelts hurt.
^ A BEER won't smoke in your car.
^ A BEER won't argue that there's no difference between shooting down an unidentified aircraft in a war zone and blowing a Korean airliner out of the sky.
^ A BEER will never buy a car with automatic transmission.
^ A BEER will actually *support* belching and farting and share your enthusiasm for getting them included as demonstration sports in the 2000 Olympic Games.
^ A BEER is always ready to leave on time.
^ A BEER never fishes for compliments.
^ Some BEERS (e.g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits.
BEER tastes *good*.
^ If you take a BEER outta the fridge just to look at it but then decide to drink it, the BEER won't accuse you of "date rape".
^ A BEER won't raise any objections to an evening of watching "John Holmes' Greatest Hits" on your VCR.
^ An ice-cold BEER will nonetheless let you have your way with it.
^ A BEER won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the grocery store.
^ A BEER won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Penthouse "just for the articles". (You *are* lying, but the BEER won't accuse you of it.)
^ A BEER won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the excuse: "But I saved a quarter!"
^ A BEER won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say "Gene Hackman" instead of "Gene Hackperson".
^ A BEER won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal that tastes like boiled sheetrock with tomatoe sauce.
^ When you're through with a BEER, the thought of another BEER doesn't make you ill.
^ A BEER can't have a "bad hair" day.
ASKER
Those were from my jokebook buddy. Nothing personal hee hee hee....!!! My girlfriend is fast asleep and i did not know what to do and so started activating this question from my book.
Good to see you are here bro !
Where are the others ? On monday Sno Crak and JM will have more info to read from this page.
And how many minutes does it take for you to load this question ? Huh ?
ASKER
Stage 1 - SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH.
You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.
Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!
Stage 5 - INVISIBLE
This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.
ASKER
A gent form Florida listened incredulously. "Why that's amazing. Where I come from there's only one way."
"Just one?", Sno asked. "And which way is that?"
"Well," the Florida gent began, "there's a man and there's a woman--"
"Praise Lord!!", exclaims Sno, "Number 80!"
LOL!!!
(This goodie is gonna start a whole new topic just like last year!)
Just take care of that beer..... it's better, but not perfect: I've heard that it contains female hormones. Think I posted it before, but can't find it: search is still down!
Let me know if I need to dig up the original scientific publication....
Silly, but I can only remember to the stage SMART, afterwards :-)
ASKER
ASKER
That was a wonderful show by all of you and its almost time to award the points !
:-)
This is a big occasion for Zvo-Bro as he will be crossing the 100k mark. I want to be a part of his 100k pts and thats why I waited all these time.
Hope its worth the wait. Right Bro ???
ASKER
All guys who have participated in this question, A special BIG Thanks. I will keep celebrating such things with each one of you guys.... Who is the next person ?
Lets get into the ideas converted to tips and tricks question and discuss there. This question is a dead pig now ! On my DSL it takes me a solid 4-5 minutes to do any operation !
I wonder if anyone will read these stuff anymore....
:-)
Arun.
Go and see this new database:
http://free.corefusion.net/Free/LotusExperts/home.nsf
Or should we add just a few keywords like MAIL JAVASCRIPT, HTML, IMPORT, EXPORT, OLE, SYTLESHEET, WORD, EXCEL etc. just to make sure?
;-))
ASKER
Or you guys wanna try the new faster EE with this question ??? Today EE is at its best did you guys notice that ?
:-)
ASKER
:-)
Today is a big day for me. I earned lot of points!
Other than that: yep, it's running smooth and fast! Points are getting in faster too!
ASKER
;-)