I'm going grey, I'm carrying a little too much weight. I don't drink, don't smoke or take drugs.

I know enough Javascript, CSS, ASP, PHP and HTML to order a coffee, deal with waiters and make sexy chit-chat with girls, that type of thing. Just don't ask me to take a physiology class or direct a light opera.

I can make my way round Dreamweaver, Photoshop an' stuff, MS Office (from 97 to 2010) and various other pieces of software and this and that, sometimes using a map.

However MS Dos (who?) - from 2.0 to 6.22 and Windows - 2 to 3.11, 95 and 98, ha! No sat nav for me with this stuff! XP, Vista and Windows 7, oh yeah, can use that too.

I know it's not much but hey, who cares? I'm having a whole bunch of fun! Yeah baby!!!