jjpaton
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Did anyone else see the M$ logo on the Matrix machines?

Dweller of Sydney

OZGRRL
(Observant student of Kufu-do Kung-fu; Zen is my many bonsai; ‘Grease’ fan – and yes I do know every line; Revels in snow – oh brief Australian ski season how I love and hate you; Relaxes in sun sand and surf; Lotus Administration gets squeezed in somehow)

My good luck charm is the bug that my name means.

8!8






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EXPERTSEXCHANGE T-shirt design   ™©® 2005 by jjpaton



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LOL@U  T-shirt design   ™©® 2005 by jjpaton




"Star Trek Lost Episodes" transcript.

Picard:   "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg?  And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?"
Geordi: "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology."
Geordi presses a  key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.
Riker looks puzzled:   "What the hell is a 'Microsoft'?"
Data turns to answer:   "Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate."
Picard:  "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?"
Data:   "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions."
Picard: "Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable geometric shape' idea."
... 15 Minutes Later ...
Data:   "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all resources.  We however have not received any confirmation of the expected 'upgrade'."
Geordi: "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of an 'upgrade' to compensate for their increase."
Picard: "Data, scan the history banks again and determine if there is something we missed."
Data:   "Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the 'upgrade'. Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards.
Riker:  "Captain we have no choice.  Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F ..."
Geordi, excited:  "Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0%!"
Picard: "Data, what do your scanners show?"
Data:   "Appearently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity."
Picard: "Lets wait and see how long this 'Solitaire' can reduce their functionality."
... Two Hours Pass ...
Riker:  "Geordi what's the status on the Borg?"
Geordi: "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have setup our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more 'Windows' modules from something called the 'Microsoft Fun-Pack'.
Picard: "How much time will that buy us?"
Data:   "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest time span of 6 more hours."
Geordi: "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."
Picard: "Identify."
Data:   "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo!"
Over the speakers:  "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR.  SURREDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE.  YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO COMPLY."
Data:   "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid shaped objects."
Picard: "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft!"
Riker:  "Good God captain!  Those are humans floating straight toward the Borg ship with no life support suits!  How can they survive deep space?!"
Data:   "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe skin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits!"
Riker and Picard together horrified:  "Lawyers!!"
Geordi: "It can't be.  All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening."
Data:   "True, but apparently some must have survived."
Riker:  "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with pieces of paper."
Data:   "I believe that is known in ancient venacular as 'red tape' -- it often proves fatal."
Riker:  "They're tearing the Borg to pieces!"
Picard: "Turn off the monitors.  I can't stand to watch, not even the Borg deserve that."

from http://www.netjeff.com/humor/item.cgi?file=BorgVsWindows





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[           T  H  E    D  A  I  L  Y     P  R  O  B  E            ]
===================================
November 10, 1999
WASHINGTON DC (DPI) - Government prosecutors in the Matrix anti-trust suit went a long way towards scoring a victory today when judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that the Matrix was indeed a monopoly. The Justice Department established that the Ruling Race of Sentient Machines (the Redmond, Washington-based controlling entity of the Matrix) were able to inhibit fair marketplace practice by controlling every aspect of the waking and dream world. "By placing humans in fluid-filled containers hooked up as giant batteries living out a computer-generated existence, they have made competing realities by startup companies virtually impossible. Additionally, they control the breeding fields, making access to the human race very difficult. Anyone who wanted to enslave mankind by setting up their own operating system for the world found themselves in for a nasty surprise" explained the Government's lead prosecutor Thomas "Neo" Anderson. "The Ruling Race of Sentient Machines may point to one or two people who operate outside the Matrix as proof of a level playing field, but as those outside will tell you, the Machines do every thing they can to squash the competition quickly." Antitrust experts are divided as to whether or not the Matrix will settle. "As Justice did such a bang-up job proving," says Duke professor Arnold Manchester, "we are nothing more than blobs spending our lives in a pool of our own filth. What is Justice going to do if it does win? They have to face up to the fact we are no more than giant sea monkeys to the computers and are really at their will. Besides, except for the occasional glitch, Matrix is actually fairly beneficial to the consumer."
The Ruling Race of Sentient Machines could not be reached for comment.
- Reported by Davejames
Please attach the following line to any forwarded portions:
[  Copyright 1999 by Chris White     info@dailyprobe.com  ]


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