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assertiveness forum

Posted on 2004-08-28
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Last Modified: 2006-11-17
Hello,
my question is quite simple. I'm looking for link (similar to experts-exchange), where are advices, how to solve everyday situations, how to correctly react on various things.
I'm not looking for theoretical page. I'm looking for page, where are dissected particular situations (forum of some kind).
Why I'm looking for it? I have troubles with one friend (he used to be friend). He manipulates with me and my friends very often.
e.g.
- we want to go somewhere (pub, cinema etc.). He will always decide everything. I'm the only one who is able to oppose him. But he is very flexile and can show that my idea is non-sence, and moreover my ideas are subjected to mockery finally. How could I show that my ideas are real, and not to take words from my mouth?
- he behaves very differently in various groups of people. He's able to be very rude and vulgar in one group whereas in other group  he's very cultivated. I couldn't look at him, how he acquired sympathy to my friends (girls) and played very good roles. That's disgusting, because his girlfriend is abroad (au-pair). Moreover he wants to split up with her. (I think that it is vice versa).
But what my friends, that are in danger of this monster? for a while very generous and friendly and suddenly very vulgar.
He wasn't in our crowd for a long time. Initially he was flattering us, he was generous etc. Gradually he was more often with us and he acquired respect. Nobody vilify him when he isn't with us. But he vilifies various very good people which do not deserve it
- we are discussing various topics in informatics and science and other areas. He knows nothing or very little about particular topic. I'm not striving to show that I know a lot about it (e.g. wireless networks)... Sorry I can't express these sentences in english, but I hope you understand, what I'm looking for
I'm not looking for general advices. I'm looking for very particular site where are real-world examples of verbal combats. (where is presented the best responce to particular statement or question). But not only verbal combats, but also other interesting situations.
In this age he could learn from mistakes of others whereas of mistakes of us.
Sorry about my english

thanks for help

thanks for help
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Question by:xLeon1
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Fatal_Exception earned 125 total points
ID: 11923901
This is from a martial arts site:

http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/Forum8/HTML/000111.html

Also, google for "reacting to verbal insults"..  this should bring back results for you..

A tough call for you here.  Personally, I would extricate him from your group of friends if he continues..

Best of luck..

FE
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by:Fatal_Exception
ID: 11925292
Thanks.. hope you get it resolved.

FE
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