Live, from Lizard Lounge, it's...
: : : The THIRD ANNUAL BADGER TOSSING TOURNAMENT : : :
The rules and procedures are posted below.
Please describe where you tossed your badgers, the distance they went and any objects you might have hit along the way.
There are prizes for all and a bar opened for your pleasure. Also provided is badger delicasies of all kinds. Feel free to drink up and eat with your badger-tossing friends.
Basic Badger Tossing
1. Get a badger. They must be attracted to you to get them to come, usually a Lizard just needs to swish their tail(they hate Lizards.) Offer them mushrooms(they love them). Mushrooms put badgers in a catonic state. Now you may grab the badger.
2. Grabbing badger. Using a nose plug at this stage will resolve the tendency to faint from the odor (note from prior years: nose plug is intended for YOU, not the badger). Grab the badger by the middle of the tail (this allows for maximum velocity without pulling the tail out.) Prepare for stance.
3. The Stance. The most important part for maximum distance is the stance. Legs slightly spread (no splits here), holding badger in either right (if you're right handed) or left(if you'rr left handed) hand behind you with a straight arm. Upper body turned at the waist. Head tilted away from badger, so as not to be hit (or bitten) by spinning badger.
4. The Wind Up. Begin to rotate arm in a complete circular motion. Picking up speed as you are able. (the faster the spin, the farthur the distance). When you feel your arm is about to fall off, it is time for the release.
5. The Release. This is done on the downward angle of the wind up. At just the right moment of the downward turn, release the badger. If done properly the badger will arch upward in a long arc. If the mushroom dose was administered properly and you did not delay in launching, mid-way through the arc the effects of the mushroom will wear off and the badger will become awear of its surroundings. This will cause it to flail around with its legs and tail giving you even more distance.
Advanced Badger Tossing
Same as above, but without the aid of mushrooms to cause catonia.
Prizes, err Poinks, awarded in the following categories:
Furthest Distance (beginner and advanced)
Most Creative Toss (beginner and advanced)
Consolation Prize (advanced only)