New SBS Install: Exchange over HTTP doesn't work.

New SBS R1 installation, but Exchange over HTTP doesn't work. Here is what we know so far:

1. Ports are forwarded properly.
2. Port Query tool says they are open and listening.
3. Webmail works internally as well as externally.
4. When you setup a profile, the connecting to server.domain.local dialog comes up and does ask for a username and password, but then says "The action could not be completed. The connection to the Microsoft Exchange Server is unavailable. Outlook must be online or connected to complete this action."
5. Outlook.exe /rpcdiag give me the following information:

First it asks for a user/pass (http://gogetmyfiles.com/ss1.png) for which I provide a valid user / pass and recieve: a disconnected message: http://gogetmyfiles.com/ss2.png, and the ultimate error: http://gogetmyfiles.com/ss3.png

Lastly, it kills my inner child by giving me this prompt for the 100th time:

http://gogetmyfiles.com/ss4.png

So if you hit check name, you get http://gogetmyfiles.com/ss3.png again.

How do we get Exchange over HTTP to work? What am I missing here?