External Company cannot send mail to My Company

I have one external company trying to send email to my company. The messages are either delayed for two days or they get a NDR back as below

Subject: Mail delivery failed: returning message to sender
This message was created automatically by mail delivery software.
A message that you sent could not be delivered to one or more of its recipients. This is a permanent error. The following address(es) failed:

    Remote host sainsburys.co.uk.s8b2.psmtp.com [] closed connection in response to initial connection:
    retry timeout exceeded

I cannot work out if this ia problem at my end or with the external comapny?

Below is the header from a delayed email, which if my understanding is correct the email is being held by
a server with IP which is relay1.bt.net

Microsoft Mail Internet Headers Version 2.0
Received: from feltxcs2001.BC.JSPLC.NET ([]) by FELTXMB5003.BC.JSPLC.NET with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959);
  Thu, 16 Oct 2008 08:07:38 +0100  
Received: from feltmsw0001.dmz.jsplc.net ([]) by feltxcs2001.BC.JSPLC.NET with Microsoft SMTPSVC(5.0.2195.6713);
  Thu, 16 Oct 2008 08:07:38 +0100  
Received: from psmtp.com (unverified) by feltmsw0001.dmz.jsplc.net
 (Content Technologies SMTPRS 4.2.10) with SMTP id <T8a1119882dc0a80e075f4@feltmsw0001.dmz.jsplc.net>;
 Thu, 16 Oct 2008 08:06:12 +0100    
Received: from source ([]) by exprod8mx234.postini.com ([]) with SMTP;
 Thu, 16 Oct 2008 00:07:28 PDT                                      
Received: from [] (helo=exchange.Tangmere.local)
 by insmtp14 with esmtp (Exim 4.50)
 id 1Kpi3G-000473-JA; Tue, 14 Oct 2008 12:26:59 +0100  

Help please
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Can you track the message in Tracking in exchange server and get complete details abt did message hit your server and what time and when it was forwarded or not.

Your primary through quaternary MX records are pointing to another host:
sainsburys.co.uk.       900       IN       MX 100 sainsburys.co.uk.s8a1.psmtp.com.      
sainsburys.co.uk.       900       IN       MX 200 sainsburys.co.uk.s8a2.psmtp.com.      
sainsburys.co.uk.       900       IN       MX 300 sainsburys.co.uk.s8b1.psmtp.com.      
sainsburys.co.uk.       900       IN       MX 400 sainsburys.co.uk.s8b2.psmtp.com.

Are these under your control, or a service provider?
Looks like Postini service?

When tracing a path in the email headers, read from the bottom up.  The first hop is at the bottom.

So, the sender is relaying through:
from [] (helo=exchange.Tangmere.local)

Then to the Postini server.
kevarooAuthor Commented:
The delayed email did hit our servers and was delivered as shwon by the tracking logs.

The email that bounced back to the sender (ndr below) did not reach our exchange system the reference below is a Postini system

    Remote host sainsburys.co.uk.s8b2.psmtp.com [] closed connection in response to initial connection:
    retry timeout exceeded
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kevarooAuthor Commented:

You are correct they are Postini servers. Tangmere route through ([])  which is a BT server and look s like it is holding on to the email before being released to Postini or have I got that wrong and Positini are holding on tot he email?
Do you have a spamfilter? Most of the times thats the problem.
Probably not Postini holding on to it.  Maybe their relay is not accepting due to a configuration error.
Make sure the domain you are using is setup properly with them.
For instance:

kevaroo@domain.tld  is not the same as kevaroo@sub.domain.tld

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kevarooAuthor Commented:
The domain is configured correclty and have made no changes to Postini.

I have raised this issue with the the 3rd party venodr of Postini and am still waiting for answers
kevarooAuthor Commented:
It was the other party's mail relay configuration. BT who host the relay eventually giot back to them to advise that they had made changes to thier smtp relay and the same should be made by the 3rd party, thnaks fro your help
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