Need a script to get Nagios to call on an analog phone

I am using Nagios to monitor a group of servers.  Because of the SLA promises made to get this contract we need to be able to get notifications that will wake us out of a dead sleep:(

What I would like to be able to do is have the Nagios server call the on-call person on their cell phones if there is a host or service down.  The server has an internal modem which I want to use rather than our IP phone server.  I don't have any skillz in Perl or Bash scripting, and am only passingly familiar with Linux as well.

Has anyone got a script I can use for this?  I can either hard code the number or, preferably use the Nagios system to call the number based on the on-call schedule.  This is relativley urgent hence the points involved.

Much appreciated.
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freymishAsked:
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Hugh FraserConsultantCommented:
Are you looking for a way to deliver a text message to their phone, or a voice message?
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Adam314Commented:
I don't know how you would play a message, but if you open the serial port associated with the modem, you should be able to send AT command to have it dial the cell phone.
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Hugh FraserConsultantCommented:
With a voice modem, you can certainly have it dial a number and play a message (Check the docs associated with vgetty on Linux), which could be synthesized with something like festival. Or it could just be a recorded "Something's wrong" message directing you to log in and see what's happening. Either way, with a voice modem it's not really that complex.

You could also go with simple alphanumeric messages to a cell phone, through their cellphone provider.
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freymishAuthor Commented:
Basically it just needs to dial the number.  What I need is something that will wake my ass up:(  Oh the joys of the 24x7 respond in 10 minutes SLA!

If the phone rings, I'm happy.  Voice messages would be icing on the cake.
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freymishAuthor Commented:
Thanks.. On to a different questions
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