Syslog-NG notifications

For some reason, I can't get my Nagios notifications up and working.
I'm trying to set up a new user to use a Perl script, which currently sits at /runme.pl

I think that I have all the various notification pieces in place - I've spent the last 3 hours going over the notification documentation on the nagios homepage - but I'm still missing something.
All necessary definitions should be included in the code section.

define host{
        name                    generic-switch-loud
        use                     generic-host
        check_period            24x7
        check_interval          5
        retry_interval          1
        max_check_attempts      10
        check_command           check-host-alive
        notification_period     24x7
        notification_interval   30
        notification_options    d,u,r,f,s
        contact_groups          admins
        register                0
        }
 
define service{
        name                            generic-service-loud
        active_checks_enabled           1
        passive_checks_enabled          1
        parallelize_check               1
        obsess_over_service             1
        check_freshness                 0
        notifications_enabled           1
        event_handler_enabled           1
        flap_detection_enabled          1
        failure_prediction_enabled      1
        process_perf_data               1
        retain_status_information       1
        retain_nonstatus_information    1
        is_volatile                     0
        check_period                    24x7
        max_check_attempts              3
        normal_check_interval           10
        retry_check_interval            2
        contact_groups                  admins
        notification_options            w,u,c,r,f,s
        notification_interval           60
        notification_period             24x7
        register                        0
        }
 
 
define host{
        use             generic-switch-loud
        host_name       cfcapc1
        alias           CFCA Switch 1
        address         cfcapc1
        hostgroups      switches
        contacts        syslog
        }
# Just to create a failing alert
define service{
        use                     generic-service-loud
        name                    ping_test
        host_name               cfcapc1
        service_description     PING TEST
        check_command           check_ping_other!10.100.100.1!200.0,20%!600.0,60%
        normal_check_interval   5
        retry_check_interval    1
        }
 
define command{
        command_name    notify-by-syslog
        command_line    /runme.pl "From Syslog"
        }
 
define contact{
        alias                           Syslog Generator
        contact_name                    syslog
        name                            syslog
        service_notification_period     24x7
        host_notification_period        24x7
        service_notification_options    w,u,c,r,f,s
        host_notification_options       d,u,r,f,s
        service_notification_commands   notify-by-syslog
        host_notification_commands      notify-by-syslog
}
 
define contactgroup{
        contactgroup_name       admins
        alias                   Nagios Administrators
        members                 nagiosadmin,syslog
        }

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