Ok so I have found different methods of doing this and more information on the type of BMP that can be used.
I am using this method here http://www.codeguru.com/vb/gen/vb_general/idelanguage/article.php/c3237
which seems a lot simplier than Microsofts version.
I am able to get the bmp on the command bar but still have the same problem with the transparency.
I say still because I had a random problem with a different method and languages which I have no idea how to solve https://www.experts-exchange.com/Programming/Languages/Visual_Basic/Q_24550123.html
In this thread http://www.eggheadcafe.com/forumarchives/officedevelopercomadd_ins/Sep2005/post23657712.asp
someone else reports that if you use a resource (which is what I have done) that the background color sometimes does not work but does not resolve the issue.
Here is what microsoft says
"In order to remain compatible with current Office guidelines, the bitmap image you use for a custom CommandBarButton picture should be a 256-color device independent bitmap (DIB) no bigger than 16 x 16 pixels in size. You can use any graphics editor to create these bitmaps, provided that it can save images as a standard Windows bitmap (.bmp or .dib) file, but be sure not to use high-color images because these may appear distorted on some systems with lower resolution. Also, choose a color that is not likely to appear in your main images, such as magenta (RGB(255, 0, 255)), and use it to fill in those areas that you want to make transparent."
But here is my main question http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/bb787467(VS.85).aspx
At the bottom of the above link it has this
"The documentation for CreateMappedBitmap() is missing a critical piece of information. Although this function will load 256-color bitmaps, only the first 16 entries in the palette will be updated based on lpColorMap. Therefore, any colors you want to update must appear as one of the first 16 palette entries."
How do I do that with my bmp which I have added to this post?
How do I make a color one of the first 16 entries or how do I find out what colors are in the first 16 entries?