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Magento Cache Slows / Cripples site, Is there a way to disable or make it work?

www_puertoricoautoforo_com asked
I was pulling out my hair today trying to get Magento to a decent speed, but I couldn't fix it...

Then, in a last ditch resort of mad insanity I deleted the Cache... WOW things were fast again..

Is it just me or is Cache supposed to speed things up?  Well in Magento it does just the opposite..

How can I get my cache working properly? Or the logical choice to disable the cache..

How would I accomplish the above and which solution would you recommend?

BTW I'm running this site on a dedicated server at siteground, it's a pretty fast server when magento's not caching.
Watch Question

what Magento version are you using?
I got it, it was Backend > System > Cache Management and then disable in there..

I'm using