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Newbie connect issue

I don't know where to go next. Ubuntu/MySQL 5.1. I need to connect/login from remote dynamic ip pc's.
I edit my.cnf, bind-address= myip, a comment in this file says skip-networking not used by default anymore.
I pull up a mysql> prompt, and run a restart.
I run 'update user set host='*' where user='myname';
but always connection denied
MySQL Server

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8/22/2022 - Mon

Look at this MySQL user manual for adding USER to have remote access


From this page,

mysql> CREATE USER 'monty'@'localhost' IDENTIFIED BY 'some_pass';
mysql> GRANT ALL PRIVILEGES ON *.* TO 'monty'@'localhost'
mysql> CREATE USER 'monty'@'%' IDENTIFIED BY 'some_pass';
mysql> GRANT ALL PRIVILEGES ON *.* TO 'monty'@'%'

Two of the accounts have a user name of monty and a password of some_pass. Both accounts are superuser accounts with full privileges to do anything. The 'monty'@'localhost' account can be used only when connecting from the local host. The 'monty'@'%' account uses the '%' wildcard for the host part, so it can be used to connect from any host.

This is getting worse. When I try to connect with the prompt, I always get Access Denied 28000, on the MySQL site, I follow these instructions:
I stop the Mysql service, (check that with grep) restart with --skip-grant-tables, then the instructions say you should always get in, but still Access Denied 28000????

This is the best money I have ever spent. I cannot not tell you how many times these folks have saved my bacon. I learn so much from the contributors.

Mmmm...this is really tough, still can't connect. I followed everything in that post. I even tried a purge and a reinstall, but I notice that the my.cnf remains the same so I'm not sure if the purge is really getting rid of the old install.
I just keep getting 28000 Access denied, i switch between locahost and the pcs's static IP, I notice the mysqld.sock is empty, I don't know what is supposed to be in this file.
Is there a purge which removes all traces of the previous install?

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Sorry, been away.
This problem is really holding my up.
I uninstal, (although I notice this doesn't remove my.cnf and if I delete it, it doesn't come back with a fresh install(??) ) I run another apt-get mysql, still no mysql> prompt, so I can't run any of these flush commands.

Always the same complaint Er 1045 ( 28000) Access Denied.
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