iCAL Email Notification Nightmare

I have been struggling big time with the iCal EXTERNAL notifications to work.

We have our ISP X that provides us with email that has domain mybusiness.com
I first attempted to set up ical email notifications but I could not get it to work with an external ISP Email host solution.
Then, I proceeded to use the OSX Server as the Mail server and create an account linked to my iCal Admin so the email would be iCalAdmin@mycompany.com
Sending an email works Great but the problem happens when external users attempt to reply and here is where I would like some guidance:

We all know that external replies to ical invites have the format of <user+32432432423432@mycompany.com> When external users reply to my ical notification, they get an undeliverable email...why? because mycompany.com mail server is handled by my ISPs!! hope its not too confusing...the easy answer would be to change the domain of my ical server but I want to know if someone ever got this working right with an ISP email hosted environment.

Hope it is clear; if not let me know! Thank you
ArgieITAsked:
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robertcernyCommented:
Change DNS MX settings to point to your mail server.
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ArgieITAuthor Commented:
True but by doing that, then all my users who use @mycompany.com will not be able to use the ISP provided email service and I will have to bring email "in-house"

There has to be a way for me to use my mail server ONLY for ical notifications and leave the rest as is
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robertcernyCommented:
No way. Sorry. Only idea - use a different domain for iCal only, but I wouldn't recommend it.
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ArgieITAuthor Commented:
With that said, the only way to make ical external invitations to work is to use in-house mail system?

I was able to use outside accounts such as hotmail,gmail,etc to work (with mail disabled in ical) but when users respond, the response is sent naturally back to that hotmail/gmail account hence the ical server can't translate the response and forward to appropiate user.

Any workarounds?
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robertcernyCommented:
The issue is with the mail server settings, which you can't change because it's not under your control. To allow delivery to <user+32432432423432@mycompany.com> you need to set MTA to accept such a user otherwise it's tagged as a mail for not-existing user and delivery is canceled.
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