Sync iTunes music with iPhone 4s

When I connect my iPhone 4s [iOS 5.1.1] to iTunes [10.6.3 (25)] and select Music...Sync Music, the following message is returned:

'Are you sure you want to sync music? all existing songs and playlists on the iPhone "JAMAR iPhone" will be replaced with songs and playlists from your iTunes library.'

If I agree, I an forced to reselect all playlists to complete sync. This repeats for subsequent USB connections to MacMini. How can I avoid this? There is no issue with other sync options.

Previously, in addition, this connection returned the message in this link:

which essentially describes a method of restoring iPhone to factory default and rebuilding from iTunes backup.

Understandably, I would rather not restore/rebuild but just eliminate requirement to reselect all playlists. How do I do this?
Who is Participating?
In iTunes, select the Store menu, then select de-authorize this computer (and do this on any other itunes you have that use the same username and password for your iPhone account).  
Then in iTunes, in the Store menu item, Authorize this computer, and login with your username and password.

This should reset everything so your one iTunes that you've sync'd to the iPhone will let  you modify your playlists and songs rather than re-install all of them every time  you make a small change.

You can change the name of your iPhone (if you have multiple users on your account) to be unique by clicking on the name until it allows you to edit it. If you have two i-Devices (like two iphones) named JAMAR this might also be a source of confusion.

MARSPATHAuthor Commented:
In addition to suggested steps, I 'forgot' all other related connections, eg. iCloud.

Syncing works OK now.
Sync is confusing without iCloud.

Add to it iCloud, and contacts, and other mail accounts like yahoo or gmail,  with their own contacts, the whole contacts issue becomes an almost incomprehensible mess of duplicates, missing contacts, etc.

The forced removal of apps before you can update the phone should be an option, but Apple clearly isn't making enough money, so they are rigidly protecting themselves at the expense of user convenience.  Which part of this last sentence is false ??  <<grin>>
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