Mailing List Software (php)

Assuming you mean broadcast email the best choice would be a Software-As-A-Service company like ConstantContact.  Broadcast email is notoriously hard to get right, and their business is all about getting the messages to go through to the clients.  They are dependable and embarrassingly inexpensive when compared to the cost of trying to do this yourself.

However I know that there are some stubborn individuals who think they can do a better job than the professionals, and for these folks, there is phpMailer.  I have experience using both and I will always choose ConstantContact over phpMailer.  As the great firefighter Red Adair said, "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional, just wait till you hire an amateur!"

I'm one of those stubborn folks who does not like saas. Can you please list me some 3rd party options other than that one?

MailChimp, SurveyMonkey, iContact are also in the space with ConstantContact.  In the "heavy duty" versions of this kind of software you'll find EventBrite and SalesForce.com

Sorry. On my own server.

phpMailer.  

Expect to spend a lot of time working out the unpleasant kinks of the email system.  Use SPF records.  Do not send mail from a shared server that injects anti-spam headers.  Learn about email blacklists. I could go on and on, but I don't have to because within a couple of months after you start sending broadcast email messages you will find all of the things about email that the rest of us have found.  And then you'll want to make the move to ConstantContact.

They offer a free trial.  Best of luck with the project, ~Ray

Any other options outside of phpMailer?

Maybe SwiftMailer or MailMan?  You can try them and see what kind of results you get.

Sending email from PHP scripts is kind of the dictionary picture of script kiddie spam, and most ISPs can sniff this out and shut it down.  You'll get banned in a matter of seconds and never even know what happened.  Really, this is a bad idea and I urge you to use a service instead.  It all goes back to that Red Adair quote.

I have a different solution, though if I use a a different reply to than from email address, does that flag as SPAM?

From: user@domain1.com
Reply-To: user@domain2.com

Hi Ray,

Thanks!

This is more of my problem on why I want to stay away from a service, but what is your opinion after my reason?

Ok, so I get lead lists from a couple of companies from people requesting information from professionals.

As you know there is an unsubscribe link. Most services ask for the reason why the person is unsubscribing and there is usually a never signed up for this and report as spam.

That does not make me look good especially to the service.

Any way around that?