Exchange 2010 SP2 stops delivering to User Mailboxes

We have a Small Business Server box with Exchange Server 2010 SP2

starting about 2 weeks ago we have had trouble getting user emails.  

emails to public folders are delivered but user mailbox emails are delayed.

we have rebooted the server and installed updates (not including upgrading to SP3) and sometimes a reboot works and sometimes it doesn't.  then all of a sudden users receive emails all at once with the time stamp of the delivery time.

I tried sending myself an email from my gmail account to the exchange account and after half a day received a notice from our exchange server that delivery was delayed..

that raised another concern since now spammers will know when we have an active mailbox.  but the plus is that it shows that exchange has the email and is holding it for delivery.

any help to resolve this is greatly appreciated.
intsupAsked:
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ComeonConnect With a Mentor Commented:
Send a telnet message internally from user to user. See if any speed difference. Also, whatever you are using to for spam and virus scanning see if you can stop scanning internal messages.

http://www.expta.com/2010/03/how-to-use-telnet-to-send-smtp-email-to.html
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ComeonCommented:
Are users able to email internally? Is there any delay?
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intsupAuthor Commented:
users are able to email EXternally with no delay.  but email from user to user is delayed.
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intsupAuthor Commented:
to clarify, sending email to my gmail, or anywhere outside our system, is sent immediately and I receive it at my gmail immediately.
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Jamie McKillopConnect With a Mentor IT ManagerCommented:
Hello,

Do you have anti-virus software running on your server? If so, try disabling it and see if the problem goes away. It could be that the proper exclusions are not set and your Exchange directories are getting scanned, which can cause all kinds of problems.

-JJ
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intsupAuthor Commented:
sorry for the delay, I forgot all about this open question.  we still have the issue and i'll post it as a new question and close this one.
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intsupAuthor Commented:
closing this question and asking again
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