Using iCloud and Outlook calendars simultaneously

I want the following, but cannot work out if it is possible:

One calendar on iPhone and Outlook PC Client that is in sync and is the default on both devices, AND the opportunity to access a shared family calendar on both devices as well.

I think it looks like this:
- Enter appointments into Outlook using a default calendar
- Accept emailed appointments into the same default calendar
- Enter appointments into my iPhone default calendar
- Sync the default calendar on iPhone and Outlook, so once synced both devices are up to date
- Syncing using iTunes is OK
- Use a Family calendar (not default) so I can set and see appointments made with/by my family

I have a calendar (in fact more than one) that is syncing between Outlook and the iPhone using iTunes

*What I can't seem to do* is have a Family calendar on my phone AND a non-icloud calendar at the same time
If I switch on iCloud calendars it deletes or merges all my other calendars.  Now all are on the cloud, and can't be the default on Outlook.
quentinpAsked:
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Justin BradshawOwnerCommented:
use Apple's iCloud for Windows plugin for Outlook. Then you can use the iCloud calendar as your default and the Family one will be there as an option.
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quentinpAuthor Commented:
If I do that I can't accept appointments from Outlook into the same calendar by default, I believe.  If someone emails me a meeting request I have to remember to copy it over to the iCLoud calendar?
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Justin BradshawOwnerCommented:
Invites are a nightmare if you're not accepting them with the same platform (iCloud, google or exchange) as they came from.

An invite from exchange for example can be accepted into an iCloud calendar but the link will be broken and the experience is terrible. I don't recommend using invites for that reason unless it's on a team that's all using the same platform.

Sorry but that's just the state of calendar invites. Pretty bad.
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quentinpAuthor Commented:
A .ics invite is pretty basic information and not a problem cross-platforms as far as I can tell.  The point is still as explained - I want a default Outlook calendar that is also on my iphone (not only for .ics invites) and also to use a shared calendar.

Is this possible?

It seems incredibly basic.  If in 2015 we really can't get an iphone calendar to coexist with an Outlook calendar someone has a huge business opportunity to exploit.
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