Attention Team we need to promote harder....

Hello Team,
I hope to find everyone well with this email. It's time to roll up our sleeves and promote harder our club. Lately we have been experiencing a roller coaster some Saturday night we are performing good some other we are very slow. We are asking the attention of everyone now, we are inviting everyone to make an extra effort starting this Saturday June 20th and for the next 3 Saturday in a row to stabilize our fun night.
Bar-code has a beautiful patio and it shouldn’t be hard to invite our friends over. We remind everyo0ne that we still have bottle service special for $ 100 before 11:00pm, we can organize birthday party of free inside the club or outside in the Patio.
This coming Satuday we have planned a beach party at Barcode in the heart of the city for all those what won’t go to the beach and the flyer will be sent out today or maximum tomorrow.
Please, call, text or email to are your old friends that you having seeing in a while and invite them to join us this Saturday night.
Thanky you everyone for your cooperation, and I will see you Saturday night.
ItaliabellaAsked:
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ItaliabellaAuthor Commented:
Anybody can embellish this email I which I want wake up the team I a nice way please ...
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Mark WillsTopic AdvisorCommented:
A couple of questions before suggestions...

Any incentives for the "team" (rewarding the extra effort) ?
What is the bottle service special (reminder as to what the $100 buys) ?

Run spell check - and check for consistencies (Bar-code vs Barcode).
Would re-work " promote harder our club" into something like "promote our club with more {energy, enthusiasm, conviction, excitement, etc}" (choose one from {the list}, or, something echoing your other messages).
Should be "performing really well" not "performing good", and then tidy the rest of that sentence.

Will have another read and type up a message incorporating some of the above suggestions. But would like to hear back about those questions first.

Cheers,
Mark
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ItaliabellaAuthor Commented:
Hello Mark,

1) no incentives their pay is already very high this is why we want to wake them up..they are very well paid and lately they have been sleeping :)
2)bottle service is usually $ 300 but in order to bring customers to the club earlier we offer it al lower price $ 100 the brand of the Vodka is different but still is an amazing deal. Nobody in the DC area offer a bottle service package at $ 100
3)I agree with you consistency is one of my problems in writing. you can standardize calling it Barcode ( one word)
4) I love promote our club with more enthusiasm and energy
5)I agree performing really well is much better than performing good
6) Thank you Mark
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ItaliabellaAuthor Commented:
*** Mark this is an addition : THE PROMOTER WITH THE MOST BIRTHDAYS BOOKED WILL GET A  BONUS ( Cash or a Bottle )
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Mark WillsTopic AdvisorCommented:
how about (and can change that "winner" add-on)....

Hello Team,

I hope to find everyone well with this email because we need you. It's time to roll up our sleeves and promote our club with more enthusiasm and energy.

Lately we have been experiencing a roller coaster on Saturday nights. We are performing really well some nights, while others can be very slow. We all benefit when every Saturday performs. So, we are asking everyone to make an extra effort starting this Saturday June 20th and for the next 3 Saturdays in a row to stabilize our fun night.
 
As an added incentive, the Promoter with the most birthdays booked will get a Bonus - a winner each Saturday...  

We do offer unparalleled facilities and services. We still have bottle service special for $100 before 11:00pm. We can organize birthday celebrations for free inside the club, and can use our outside Patio  area.

Barcode has an amazing patio. This coming Saturday we have planned a Beach Party at Barcode to bring the beach to the heart of the city. The flyer will be sent out tomorrow (if not earlier).  It should be an exciting night and shouldn’t be hard to invite all our friends over.

Please call, text or email all your acquaintances and invite them to join us this Saturday night. What a great way to catch up with old friends, and make a few new ones.

Thank you everyone for your cooperation, and look forward to seeing you on Saturday night at our "Beach Party".
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ItaliabellaAuthor Commented:
I love it, thank you so much !
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Mark WillsTopic AdvisorCommented:
A pleasure. Very happy to have been able to help...
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