interested in tips for dealing with anger issues on behalf of a friend

Hello and Good Afternoon Everyone,

             I wish to  help someone who has come to me for advise regarding anger issues.   She has been experiencing a lot of anger lately but yet she is afraid of anger because of the poor way her father dealt with this emotion.  Anger is the emotion she fears most.  Whenever she does feel anger, then, she begins to feel ashamed.   Her mother even scolds her for feeling anger as well.   But,  it seems to me that anger can be helpful as an assertiveness tool when used on rare occasions in conflict resolution.  At any rate, I have to confess this scenario does bewilder me.  

            An shared tips or suggestions which can possibly help my friend in resolving her anger issues will be greatly appreciated.  This certainly does not match the image I have of her as a quiet and soft spoken person.

            Thank you

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Paul SauvéRetiredCommented:
You DO realize that this is basically a technology help site!

Be that as it may, the best advice you could give your friend is to suggest that she consult a good psychotherapist, psychiatrist or psychologist....
GMartinAuthor Commented:
I found my own solutions to this question by going to  After thinking about it, this question should not have been posted in the first place.

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GMartinAuthor Commented:
To Whom It Concerns,

            I prefer this question to be closed due to the simple fact that it is not technically related.  While I have requested attention in the past from members of EE who have been gracious enough to provide feedback to some personal questions, I do realize such practice deviates too far from the core purpose of EE which is to provide help with technical issues.  

             In closing, I hope everyone accepts my apology for pushing this personal question onto a technical forum.  I need to keep my questions more technically oriented for future reference.

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Paul SauvéRetiredCommented:
George - not a problem―I just wasn't sure that you understood the nature of the site. Even so, professional help may be better suited than the self help that you may find on YouTube.

Paul SauvéRetiredCommented:
I've seen stranger questions that yours in this forum!
What age is your friend?
What is the social/marital status?
No joke, but hormones, lack of sexual fulfillment turns into anger for no reason.
The anger can be channeled.
For example, when I am angry, I consume the energy in positive way by starting to clean the house more than usual :), no joke.
GMartinAuthor Commented:

          My friend is married and about 40 years of age.  She does have 2 grown young adults in their late teens, 18 and 19.  At any rate, I am sorry for bringing this question to the EE forum.  I have to agree with Paul that this situation is likely best suited for professional counseling.  

The fact that she is married does not automatically mean sexual fulfillment for the present moment, no matter how was it up to now.
Starting with 40 towards 50, depending from women to women, a new sexual age arise in her life: the menopause, which has as consequence a not so nice mood: anxiety or nervousness.
Recommend her to check also a gynecology doctor.

I might have posted this under Math&Science rather than Miscellaneous, but otherwise I have no problem with your question.

Two general thoughts:

First, it's practically impossible to give useful advice on this issue without some interaction with your 'friend'. It's necessary to get a feel for how a person uses language to discuss emotional issues. All of us have our personal internal universe of "feelings" that is impossible to map reliably to the universes of others.

Once a shared language of emotions is established, then it starts to become possible to grasp what someone else actually means by "anger issues". For your friend, what does "anger issue" mean?

Is she believing that she has recently begun to feel anger in situations where anger never arose before? (How does she know it's "anger"?) Is it merely that she feels shame over it? Does she want to address the shame? Or the anger? Is there a belief that anger is somehow wrong?

And second, advice to find a good therapist is okay, but "good" is tricky. It should mean "good for this individual". In order to be "good" for someone, there are personality dimensions that should be appropriately complementary between the two. That can mean that multiple therapists might be met until a match is found. It's just the way human personalities mesh. (A truly good therapist often can adapt, but you can't expect it.)
GMartinAuthor Commented:
The youtube link gives a wide variety of multimedia videos or clips which specifically address anger management. The videos are easy to follow and certainly tie in well with the theme of this question.
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