I'm being gaslighted; need to figure out what's been done to my computer and who the phantom administrator is...

Posted on 2017-07-16
Last Modified: 2017-07-20
Over the course of 5 years, my marriage has deteriorated considerably due to my spouse's extreme secretiveness (he's a quad Scorpio, for those in the know).  Recently, I needed a new laptop so he purchased one at Costco for me but after much digging around, I have found that not only am I not the administrator of my own damn laptop, but there are 3 other "users" showing up that have access to a network that I am excluded from.  In addition to that, everyone else belongs to a workgroup and a homegroup that I am refused access to.  I can't begin to express the depth of my anger but I assure you it is off the charts.

My spouse claims complete and utter ignorance, yet makes no effort to look into it and is not even remotely concerned about the situation.  Clearly, he is suspect.  I don't know crap about computers but I'm not an idiot, either.  I confiscated his laptop and refuse to give it back to him until I figure it out.  Problem is that I'm running out of time (I've decided to move out and divorce him) but I can't give up until I get answers.  It is literally killing me.  Anyway, if someone - anyone - can help me identify what I'm seeing, I would be beyond grateful.  I just want to move on with my life but I need closure desperately.  This man is trying to alter my reality with his gaslighting, completely disregarding how damaging it is to one's psyche.

I can get a list of downloaded programs - all done over a 24-hour period - that might point the way to a more enlightened individual.  Please, someone help me.

**I should also add that we have Century Link and it appears that my IP address is being used as a DMZ Host, whatever that is.  I'm wondering if he is involved with Torrents, live interactive webcam situations or internet groups of some sort.
Question by:Michele McWilliams
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by:Experienced Member
I have found that not only am I not the administrator of my own laptop, but there are 3 other "users" showing up that have access to a network that I am excluded from

I am only going to address the issue I quoted here. Get a set of Windows 10 Recovery Media from the seller / vendor, reimage the machine and start again. That is what I would do so as to be able to use your own laptop.
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If you have reason to believe that your machine has software on it that you don't trust, I strongly recommend you backup all your data (or at least anything that you don't want to lose), image the machine (just in case you ever need to get it back to the current position), and then wipe it completely, and start from scratch with a clean install.

You say you don't know much about computers, so that might all sound quite intimidating.  If so, perhaps you have someone you do trust that could assist you with it (I would suggest 'assist' rather than let someone else do it all for you), or if not, maybe take it to a business that can help.  You might even find that you have some sort of 'support package' from the retailer (not sure who CostCo are, but presumably they are a retailer).

Good luck,

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I Also suggest to start from scratch with a clean install to make sure your system is clean.

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All of the advice above is basically the only way you're going to be able to trust your system again. What isn't being pointed out is the fact that if you do that and require the information for legal purposes later, you would've lost that data. Given your situation, I won't be surprised if you're going to need to preserve the data on the system, so I would highly recommend that you work on finding a computer forensics expert in coordination with the legal assistance that you seem to be needing for your delicate situation. You will lose access to the system for a while and may be better off getting another laptop to use in the meanwhile.
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i would buy a 1TB usb disk with a backup program included  and a 64 GB usb 3.1 stick. then move the notebook to a place where there is no wifi and clone the disk and make backup of all your data. then go to a friend and download the .iso of your windows version (you have Windows?) and copy it to the usb stick. log-in to your notebook (still you shouldn't be connected to your home wifi and better to no wifi at all). then get the Windows key from your current System if you don't have it somewhere. see at https://www.howtogeek.com/206329/how-to-find-your-lost-windows-or-office-product-keys/ for info.

you then should be able to access the .iso and use it like a DVD drive. use the windows setup from there. it will guide you to installing a clean system or would restore a clean recovery of your system if available at the disk. in both cases you would loose all personal data which is not backup'd.


Expert Comment

Costco has some of the best return policies around.
Screen shots of the network settings, and user accounts may be useful.
Most Win computers have provisions for a factory reinstall, out of the box condition.
Make and model and OS version would be useful for more complete answers.
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Expert Comment

by:Experienced Member
We have all suggested reimaging your computer. Back up first, of course, as we all do. Any feedback?
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If you have the Costco account, take it back and tell them things aren't working.  You'll get the full original price back.  If you need to keep the data for forensics, buy a new disk drive, swap out the disk in the Costco laptop.  Save the disk in a lockbox or a safe deposit box that only you have access.  Do not use the disk. if you need it as evidence.  Return the laptop and switch it or get a different one.  That should be much easier and definitely much quicker than re-imaging it.

Expert Comment

by:Network Zero
I would just use the computer offline and dig into as much information as you can find:

If you can get into "C:\Users" you should be able to see the folder of these people using your computer - also the modified time will show you an approximate time of when these people logged into your machine.

DMZ's are created when you want to complicate directly to the internet - most commonly for gaming. You can send over a list of the programs so I can check.

You can take the computer in to have the hard drive removed and get all the information if you want to start over just back up and reload windows.

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