proofread : correct & improvise the paragraph
Dear HR-Manager,
How have you been?
Hope you are keeping good health.
I had been your employee during the period 2005 to 2010 yr.
I have initiated the PR processing for countries CCC & DDD,I would need your help to submit some documents required in some defined format on company letter head(a scan copy) as part of the processing.
Apart from regular experience/relieving letters, process mandates job duties performed during my tenure with your client-"ABC" I had worked.
The job duties details I will send you in my next email once I got positive reply.
I hope, you definately take some effort to help company former employees to get the required scan copies.
For your reference, I have attached my experience letter.
Thanks for your support
XXXX
How have you been?
Hope you are keeping good health.
I had been your employee during the period 2005 to 2010 yr.
I have initiated the PR processing for countries CCC & DDD,I would need your help to submit some documents required in some defined format on company letter head(a scan copy) as part of the processing.
Apart from regular experience/relieving letters, process mandates job duties performed during my tenure with your client-"ABC" I had worked.
The job duties details I will send you in my next email once I got positive reply.
I hope, you definately take some effort to help company former employees to get the required scan copies.
For your reference, I have attached my experience letter.
Thanks for your support
XXXX
ASKER
Thanks @Alex, -- as per your advice just trimmed
Can you have a final verification..plz
==
Dear Sirs,
I hope you are keeping well, I'm writing in regards to the period 2005 to 2010 during which I was employed by your company. I have initiated the PR processing for countries CCC & DDD and as such, I would need your help to submit some documents required in a pre-defined format about my job duties with your client-"ABC" I had worked,on company letter head. These can be scanned documents to facilitate the requirements.
The job duties details I will send you in my next email once I got positive reply from you.
My most sincere regards
XXX
==
Can you have a final verification..plz
==
Dear Sirs,
I hope you are keeping well, I'm writing in regards to the period 2005 to 2010 during which I was employed by your company. I have initiated the PR processing for countries CCC & DDD and as such, I would need your help to submit some documents required in a pre-defined format about my job duties with your client-"ABC" I had worked,on company letter head. These can be scanned documents to facilitate the requirements.
The job duties details I will send you in my next email once I got positive reply from you.
My most sincere regards
XXX
==
Dear Sirs,
I hope you are keeping well, I'm writing in regards to the period 2005 to 2010 during which I was employed by your company. I have initiated the PR processing for countries CCC & DDD and as such, I would need your help to submit some documents required in a pre-defined format about my job duties with your client-"ABC" on company letter headed paper. These can be scanned documents to facilitate the requirements.
-------------------
The job duties details I will send you in my next email once I got positive reply from you. - I don't feel this is actually needed, I'd take it out. Plus you're saying if you don't get a positive reply, you won't send it to them. If I had to put something. "I'll inform you of the role requirements and responsibilities when I know more."
-------------------
My most sincere regards
XXX
I hope you are keeping well, I'm writing in regards to the period 2005 to 2010 during which I was employed by your company. I have initiated the PR processing for countries CCC & DDD and as such, I would need your help to submit some documents required in a pre-defined format about my job duties with your client-"ABC" on company letter headed paper. These can be scanned documents to facilitate the requirements.
-------------------
The job duties details I will send you in my next email once I got positive reply from you. - I don't feel this is actually needed, I'd take it out. Plus you're saying if you don't get a positive reply, you won't send it to them. If I had to put something. "I'll inform you of the role requirements and responsibilities when I know more."
-------------------
My most sincere regards
XXX
ASKER
@Alex
once I got acknowledgement or +positive reply from HR from email, I want to send them job duty details to be published on company letter head.
Now, Kindly advice, how best I can phrase the same in second paragraph.
==
once I got acknowledgement or +positive reply from HR from email, I want to send them job duty details to be published on company letter head.
Now, Kindly advice, how best I can phrase the same in second paragraph.
==
So this is for a reference I assume?
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ASKER
Yes
>>> "I hope you are keeping well" <<<
From my own personal viewpoint I would leave out rhetorical questions or assumptive enquiries about the reader's health. You have no idea whether or not the person reading the letter is fit and healthy or is currently receiving chemotherapy, and if the reader happens to be in poor health it might annoy them from the first line in your letter. It also sounds too friendly and informal, especially when you are addressing the letter to Dear HR Manager or Dear Sirs.
From my own personal viewpoint I would leave out rhetorical questions or assumptive enquiries about the reader's health. You have no idea whether or not the person reading the letter is fit and healthy or is currently receiving chemotherapy, and if the reader happens to be in poor health it might annoy them from the first line in your letter. It also sounds too friendly and informal, especially when you are addressing the letter to Dear HR Manager or Dear Sirs.
Dear Sirs,
I hope you are keeping well, I'm writing in regards to the period 2005 to 2010 during which I was employed by your company. I have initiated the PR processing for countries CCC & DDD and as such, I would need your help to submit some documents required in a pre-defined format on company letter head as part of the processing. These can be scanned documents to facilitate the requirements.
------What?
Apart from regular experience/relieving letters, process mandates job duties performed during my tenure with your client-"ABC" I had worked.
------ End What?
The job duties details I will send you in my next email once I got positive reply. -this is your ex employer, why would you send it
Please could you return the requested documents no later than 06/07/18.
My most sincere regards (only if you left on good terms, Kind regards if you didn't)